The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?

A: Try a bookstore... under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?

A blonde goes into a coffee shop ...

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees.

Q: Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver?

A: Because she was a woman!

What is the difference between a light on and a hard on?

You can go to sleep with a light on!

Why don't Mexicans have barbeques?

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.

|What do you call a Virgin on a waterbed? A CHERRY FLOAT!!!!

A Mexican fireman's wife gives birth to twin boys, whay did he call them?

Hose A & Hose B

|Why did the Mexican push his wife off the cliff?

Tequila

Passengers on a small commuter plane are waiting for the flight to leave.

Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time ?
Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them.

A man comes home from work to find his wife in the bedroom, packing her suitcase. "What the hell are you doing?" he asks. "I'm leavin'' you for a better life," she replies.

|Yo mamma is so fat she bought a monster-truck and it turned into a low ride.Yo mamma is so old she sat behind jesus in the third grade.Yo dad is so ugly he looked out the window and got arrested for

|A girl walks into a store and says "can I buy that TV?" and the guy says "sorry we don't sell to blondes.", so the next day she dies her brown and the same thing happend, then she died her hair orang

John and Mary were having dinner in a very fine restaurant.

|Yo mama is so stupid,she tried to put m'n'ms in alphabetical order.

|Yo mama is so fat, when she jumped in the pool, the pool jumped out.

|What do gay guys call hemroids?
Speedbumps

A big burly biker steps into a bar he walks over sits at the bar and orders a beer.

A man and his wife are weeding the garden one day when his wife bends over to pick some more weeds.

Kenny came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinko drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife, who was already asleep. He gave a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

Q: What do you call a sick German Shepherd?

A: A Germy-Shepherd!

|Lil' Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism.

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party.

|A fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a guaranteed weight loss program.

A senior citizen in Florida bought a brand new Corvette convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head.