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45 Cool Things To Do In A College Dorm Shower Stall

1. Enter the stall, shower for about 3 minutes, then scream really loudly, exclaiming, "I didn't know I had one of THOSE!"2. Enter the stall, fully clothed. Do not undress and make sure you clothes get all wet & soapy. Complain when leaving the bathroom that your shirt tends to bleed all over.3. Ask Scottie to beam you up.4. Enter the stall, undress and then re-dress up as Superman. Leap out of the stall, vengefully vow to stop Lex Luthor's evil plot, then run full force into the wall. Stand up, shake your head, and proceed to take your shower.5. Bring a bottle of fake blood or ketchup into the shower with you. Exclaim "Ow, you know, it really hurts when you pop one of those." Then let the blood/ketchup seep down the drain for all to see.6. Look over the edge to the person showering next to you, giggle, and then return to your side, whistling the tune "It's a Small World After All."7. Bring in a rubber chicken. Get it all soapy, then toss in into the next stall. Demand that the person in that stall returns it to you, or you will cast a voodoo curse on them. The next day, hang the chicken from the bathroom lighting fixtures by a noose and stick numerous pins and forks in it.8. Have a seizure. Bang against the walls of the stall really hard. Try to knock them down. If anyone later asks if you are okay, just say that you had some Mexican Jumping Fava Beans and they were reacting negatively with your stomach.9. Bring a chunk of sodium metal. Leave it in the stall for the next person showering.10. Stand in the bathroom, waiting for would-be shower-goers. When they come in, tell them "Not to do it" and ask them "Not to give in to sin". Wail mournfully when they step into the shower.11. Initiate a war with the person in the stall next to you. Use the residue water on the floor as your battle medium, and float little battleship over to their side. If they kick them back or throw them over the edge, exclaim that you didn't know they had the power of God and sheepishly mumble prayers for the duration of your shower.12. Bring in a fake finger. Float it down the drainage "ditch". Ask if someone would be so kind as to return it to you. If no one does, tell them that the finger has been sacrificed to Satan and that the shower stalls are now possessed. Hang Halloween decorations and crepe-paper ghosts from them the next day.13. Bang your head against the stall wall, shouting "Redrum! Redrum!" in your best groggy voice.14. Bring a Yoo-Hoo to the shower with you. Complain about a stomachache, then moan "Ohhhh, um, uh-oh", and pour the Yoo-Hoo down the drain "ditch" for all to see.15. Before you turn the shower on, make a noise like you are charging up a proton pack from Ghostbusters. Before you turn it off, ask Egon to set the trap up for you.16. Bring a balloon into the shower. Make the balloon squeak for the duration of your bathing experience. Then pop it, and fall to the ground.17. Bring dead fish into the shower with you. Let them float down the drainage "ditch", complaining about the quality of water these days.18. Hang up the names of different farm animals in the stalls. Have everyone entering the stalls join you in a rendition of "Old McDonald Had A Farm", making the sound of their animal in the stall.19. Turn the stall into a shrine for a pagan god. Call him Weeshy. Insist that anyone who uses that stall must tithe to receive his benefence and glory. If they don't tithe, avoid them for the rest of your life.20. Take your shower like normal, and then begin screaming that the Communists are taking over. Bang battle sounds, including bombs, bazookas, and tanks. Towards the end, wearily declared victory. Leave wounded.21. Levitate. If anyone complains, tell them that they are breaking your concentration and just because they have bad karma doesn't give them the right to spread it.22. Blow bubbles. Exclaim that you are dissolving.23. Bring in a bucket, fill it with water, and float a bar of soap in it. Charge a fee for people to see the Wicked Witch of the West bathing nude. Threaten anyone who laughs at you with flying monkeys.24. Start singing Pavarotti really loud. In the middle, stop, stutter for a second, and then exclaim "Ohmigosh...do you know what these words REALLY mean?"25. Walk in a man. Come out a woman. Complain that there are men in the bathroom.26. Suck on the faucet head until you fill up with water. Complain that they Seven Chinese Brothers get no respect OR pretend to be a fountain.27. Wet your head, and then sneak into a toilet stall. Flush the bowl and wait a minute. Walk out of the stall lurching, complaining about how dizzy you are.28. Buy a bunch of those tiny animal-pills that expand into full, spongy shape when they get wet. Bring them into the shower and spill them into the ditch. Ask somebody for your pills back, and when they hand little animals, scream, slap them, and run away.29. Make your best Psycho noise (reeEENT reeEENT...)30. Try to get everyone in the other stalls to sing in four-part harmony with you. If this actually works, change your voice part every three measures.31. Role-play with the guy in the stall next to you. If he claims to have rolled a natural 20, call him a liar and fire your bottle of shampoo on to his side. Complain about oily hair for the rest of the day.32. Become a shower-pirate. Loot other stalls of soap, Oxy pads, and -Tips. Bury them under the tile floor. Fire cannons at peopleusing the toilet stalls.33. Scream out that your washcloth is attacking you, then fall to thefloor and cover your face with it. Lie there for 2 hours. Threedays later have a little washcloth pop out of your stomach and errorize the school.34. Bring SCUBA gear into the shower with you. Talk to Cousteau. Upon eaving, tell everyone that the Titanic was actually torpedoed by the Germans.Be cocky.35. Hum for a couple of moments, stop, make a "Mmm!" sound, and thenannounce to everyone that the mildew on the shower walls kind oftastes like head cheese.36. Coat the floor in a fine layer of quick-drying cement.37. Steal everyone's clothes from the changing compartment. Go into their rooms and take all their other clothes. Donate to a needy organization.38. Hang "Marisa Cevasco steals Homecoming Queen Crown" signs in all the stalls. If anyone asks who Marisa Cevasco is, call them ignorant and ignore them for the rest of your life.39. Bring in Sesame Street bath books. Read them aloud. Giggle everytime Bert walks in on Ernie bathing.40. Stare at people's feet as they bathe. If they do not wash their feet, tell them so. If this happens a second time, steal their shoes and tell them that they left on strike. If they do wash their feet and fall down while doing it, laugh hysterically.41. Stand outside the shower curtain, raise a harpoon, and shout "I'm coming for you, Moby!". Run in and do battle with the faucet-head. Walk out a pegleg.42. Charge a toll for people wanting to use the shower. If they complain, light them on fire. Then they'll pay.43. Hook up your shower-heads to a local dairy-farm. If anyone complains about the washing facilities, tell them that they should be thankful for a wholesome, pasturized, vitamins A & D fortified wash. Call them ingrates.44. Put an electric eel in the water heater. Laugh everytime someone gets a shock. Call them glowworms.45. Set up a slip and slide into the shower. Hurt yourself everytime you bump into the wall. Complain that your favorite physics professor shuts gravity off at the wrong times always.

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Joke of the Day

Modem Addiction

"Did you know that last month's (expletive) phone bill is over $450?" my wife scolded me in her harshest, my-husband-the-child voice. "That's more than twice the monthly payment you make for that (expletive)computer!" she continued as she escalated to screaming."I confess! I confess!" I sobbed. "I'm just an on-line junkie. I'm addicted to my modem! I guess I'll just have to join Modems Anonymous before I owe my soul to the phone company. "As a counselor for Modems Anonymous, I hear numerous variations of the preceding story every day. That insidious disease, modem fever, is exacting a tragically large toll from the cream of our society's computer users. Modem-mania is sweeping through the very foundations of our country and there seems to be no stopping it. This disease (yes, it is a social disease of almost epidemic proportions) is becoming a such calamity that soon there's even going to be a soap opera about on-line addiction named, "All My Modems. "If you don't already own one of those evil instruments called a modem, take warning! Don't even think about buying one. Modem fever sets in very quietly; it sneaks up on you and then grabs you by the wallet, checkbook or, heaven forbid, credit cards.Once you own a modem, you enter the insidious addictive trap by "dialing up" a friend who also has a modem. For some strange reason, typing messages to each other fascinates you. (Even if it is less than 10%of the speed that you can speak the same words over a normal voice phone link. )Of course, you make several attempts at hooking up before you finally figure out that at least one of you must be in the half-duplex mode; that discovery actually titillates you (sounds impossible, but it's true).Then your modem-buddy (friend is too good a term) sows another seed on the road to on-line addiction by giving you the number of a local RBBS (Remote Bulletin Board Service). Once you get an RBBS phone number, you've taken the first fatal step in a journey that can only end in on-line addiction.After you take the next step by dialing up the RBBS your modem-buddy told you about, you find that it's very easy to "log-on. "This weird form of conversation with an unattended computer is strangely exciting, much more so than just typing messages when you're on-line with your modem-buddy. The initial bulletins scroll by and inform you about the board, but you're too "up" to comprehend most of it. Then you read some of the messages in the message section and maybe, in a tentative manner, you enter one or two of your own.That's fun, but the excitement starts to wear off; you're calming down. Thinking that it might be worthwhile to go back and re-read the log-on bulletins, you return to the main RBBS menu.Then it happens. The RBBS provides the bait that entices you all the way into the fiery hell of modem addiction. As you look at the RBBS main menu to learn how to return to the log-on bulletins, you find an item called FILES. By asking your host computer for FILES, you thread the bait onto the hook of corruption; the FILES SUBMENU sets the hook. You start running with the line when you LIST the files; you leap into the air with the sheer joy of the fight when all those public domain program title sand descriptions scroll by. They're FREE!!! All you have to do is tell the bulletin board to download (transmit) them to you. You download your first program and you're landed, in the creel, cleaned and ready for the cooking fires. In just 55 minutes after you logged-onto the board, you've downloaded six programs, one of them is Andrew Fleugelman's PC-Talk, version 3 (truly an instrument for evil). BBS-LIST. DQC, which is also among the files you downloaded, contains a list of a great number of bulletin boards throughout the country. (There's evil all around us, constantly tempting us!) You print the list and find about 60 RBBS phone numbers. (Have mercy on our souls!) The list also gives you the hours of operation, communications parameters and informs you about each board's specialty. You decide to try PC-Talk and use it to dial-up an RBBS about three states away. Since the line is busy, you pass the time entering all those RBBS phone numbers into PC-Talk's voluminous dialing directory.You try the number again -- still busy. You think, "Hey, there's one that specializes in Pascal programs. Maybe I'll try it. It's about half-way across the country, but it's after 5pm and the phone rates have changed. It won't be too expensive."The Pascal board answers. After 45 minutes you've downloaded another five programs. Then you call another board --only this one's completely across the country from California, in Florida. And so it goes on into the night . . . and the next night. . . and the next. . . . Some days it gets to you. You begin to feel the dirtiness of modem addiction, particularly when your wife makes you feel like a child by berating you for those astronomical phone bills -- if she hasn't divorced you by then. Every time you sit down before your PC to do some work, you dial up another RBBS instead. If that one's busy, you call another, and another, until you connect. Then you feel OK, almost "high." When you finally hang up, you still can't work; you can only dial up another RBBS.Your downfall as an on-line addict is just another one of this society's terrible tragedies, such as polygamy or the compulsion to circle all the numbers on computer magazine "bingo cards." Eventually your whole social life relies upon only the messages you find on electronic bulletin boards; your only happiness is the programs you have downloaded. (You never try any of them, you only collect them. )Hope exists, however. We, the dedicated but under-paid staff of Modems Anonymous, have done extensive research to find a cure for modem mania, which has been ruining hundreds of lives. And we have succeeded in our quest.The cure is really quite simple, yet effective: Set up your own remote bulletin board service. Then all the other modem addicts will phone you, and their wives can nag at them about $450 phone bills, and you can find peace -- at last.

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