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JokeClicks

Abbott calling Costello

|Costello calls Abbott with some questions about UNIX.Costello: What is the command that will tell me the revision code of a program?Abbott: Yes, that's correct.Costello: No, what is it?Abbott: Yes.Costello: So, which is the one?Abbott: No. 'which' is used to find the program.Costello: Stop this. Who are you?Abbott: Use 'who am i' not 'who r yoo'. You can also 'finger yoo' to get information about 'yoo'.Costello: All I want to know is what finds the revision code?Abbott: Use 'what'.Costello: That's what I am trying to find out. Isn't that true?Abbott: No. 'true' gives you 0.Costello: Which one?Abbott: 'true' gives you 0. 'which programname'Costello: Let's get back to my problem. What program? How do I find it?Abbott: Type 'find / -name it -print' to find 'it'. Type 'what program' to get the revision code.Costello: I want to find the revision code.Abbott: You can't 'find revisioncode', you must use 'what program'.Costello: Which command will do what I need?Abbott: No. 'which command' will find 'command'.Costello: I think I understand. Let me write that.Abbott: You can 'write that' only if 'that' is a user on your system.Costello: Write what?Abbott: No. 'write that'. 'what program'.Costello: Cut that out!Abbott: Yes. those are valid files for 'cut'. Don't forget the options.Costello: Do you always do this?Abbott: 'du' will give you disk usage.Costello: HELP!Abbott: 'help' is only used for Source Code Control System (SCCS).Costello: You make me angry.Abbott: No, I don't 'make me' angry but I did 'make programname' when I was upset once.Costello: I don't want to make trouble, so no more.Abbott: No 'more'? 'which' will help you find 'more'. Every system has 'more'.Costello: Nice help! I'm confused more now!Abbott: Understand that since 'help' is such a small program, it is better not to 'nice help'. and 'more now' is not allowed but 'at now' is. Unless of course 'now' is a file name.Costello: This is almost as confusing as my PC.Abbott: I didn't know you needed help with 'pc'. Let me get you to the Pascal compiler team.

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Joke of the Day

Bad news

A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery. Mr. Schwartz had the longest private part he had ever seen! "I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz" said the mortician, "but I can't send youoff to be cremated with a tremendously huge private part like this.It has to be saved for posterity." With that, the mortician used his tools to remove the dead man'sschlong. He stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed it to was his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said, and opened up his briefcase. "Oh my God!" she screamed. "Schwatrz is dead!"

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