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JokeClicks

An ode to old age

|There's quite an art to falling apart as the years go by,And life doesn't begin at 40. That's a big fat lie.My hair's getting thinner, my body is not;The few teeth I have are beginning to rot.I smell of Vick's-Vapo-Rub, not Chanel # 5;My new pacemaker's all that keeps me alive.When asked of my past, every detail I'll know,But what was I doing 10 minutes ago?Well, you get the idea, what more can I say?I'm off to read the obituary, like I do every day;If my names not there, I'll once again start -Perfecting the art of falling apart

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Joke of the Day

Bad news

A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery. Mr. Schwartz had the longest private part he had ever seen! "I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz" said the mortician, "but I can't send youoff to be cremated with a tremendously huge private part like this.It has to be saved for posterity." With that, the mortician used his tools to remove the dead man'sschlong. He stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed it to was his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said, and opened up his briefcase. "Oh my God!" she screamed. "Schwatrz is dead!"

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