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JokeClicks

Bass jokes

|Q: Why did the bass player get mad at the timpanist?A: He turned a peg and wouldn't tell the bass player which one.Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?A: Only one - but the guitarist has to show him first.Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?A: Six. One to change it, five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light.Q: Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car?A: It took him four hours to get the bass player out.Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?A: None. The piano player can do that with his left hand. The annoying drumsThis guy goes on vacation to a tropical island. As soon as he gets off the plane, he hears drums. He thinks "Wow, this is cool." He goes to the beach, he hears the drums, he eats lunch, he hears drums, he goes to a luau, he hears drums. He tries to go to sleep, yet he hears drums.This goes on for several nights, and gets to the point where the guy can't sleep at night because of the drums. Finally, he goes down to the front desk.When he gets there, he asks the manager, "Hey! What's with these drums. Don't they ever stop? I can't get any sleep."The manager says, "No! Drums must never stop. It's very bad if drums stop.""Why?""When drums stop...bass solo begins."

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Joke of the Day

Bad news

A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery. Mr. Schwartz had the longest private part he had ever seen! "I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz" said the mortician, "but I can't send youoff to be cremated with a tremendously huge private part like this.It has to be saved for posterity." With that, the mortician used his tools to remove the dead man'sschlong. He stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed it to was his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said, and opened up his briefcase. "Oh my God!" she screamed. "Schwatrz is dead!"

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