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JokeClicks

Blonde Cookbook

BLONDE COOKBOOK
Monday
It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately.
The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.

Tuesday
Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress.
What a surprise when Tom brought a friend home for supper!

Wednesday
A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice.
It seemed kind of silly but I took a bath anyway. I can't say it improved the rice any.

Thursday
Today Tom asked for salad again I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients; lay on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving.
Tom asked me why I was rolling around in the garden..

Friday
I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it.
There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.

Saturday
Tom did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday.
I don't have any clothes that fit it, and for some reason Tom keeps counting to ten.

Sunday
Tom's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast but all I had was hamburger.
Suddenly I had a flash of genius.. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.

GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very exciting week! I am eager for tomorrow to come so
I can try out a new recipe on Tom. If I can talk Tom into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with a chocolate moose.

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Joke of the Day

Love Jesus

Love Jesus by Dennis DiPasquale The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed. I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY love the lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and yelled, "Jesus Christ!!" as loud as he could. It was like a football game with him shouting, "GO JESUS CHRIST,GO!!!" Everyone else started honking, too, so I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all of those loving people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach, and saw him waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my two kids what that meant. They kind of squirmed, looked at each other, giggled and told me that it was the Hawaiian good luck sign. So, I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. Several cars behind, a very nice black man stepped out of his car and yelled something. I couldn't hear him very well, but it sounded like, "Mother trucker," or "Mother's from there." Maybe he was from Florida, too. He must really love the lord. A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and were walking toward me. I bet they wanted to pray, but just then I noticed that the light had changed, and stepped on the gas. And a good thing I did, because I was the only driver to get across the intersection. I looked back at them standing there. I leaned way out the window, gave them a big smile and held up the Hawaiian good luck sign, as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks.

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