try another color:
try another fontsize: 60% 70% 80% 90%
JokeClicks

Can you give me a push?

A man and his wife are fast asleep at 3 in the morning when the doorbell rings. Annoyed and grumbling, the man makes his way to the front door, expecting to rip somebody a new one. When he opens the door he sees a man so drunk he can hardly stand up. “Can you give me a push?” the drunk man says. Very irritated, the homeowner says “It’s 3 in the morning. I don't have time for this nonsense”. And slams the door in the drunk mans face.

When he returns to the bedroom, his wife asks who was at the door. He says “Some drunk guy asking for a push. I have no idea what he is talking about.” His wife turns to him and says “Dave, do you remember that time when we picked up the kids from the babysitter and the car broke down? You had to go to someone’s house and ask for help. You should always be willing to help those in need. It’s the Christian thing to do”.

Grumbling, the man goes back downstairs and opens the front door. The drunk man is nowhere to be found. Leaning out the door, he says “Hey…do you still need a push?”

Out of nowhere he hears the response ‘Yes, please”. So the man says “Where are you?”

“In the backyard…on the swingset”.

5
 
 

Joke of the Day

Love Jesus

Love Jesus by Dennis DiPasquale The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed. I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY love the lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and yelled, "Jesus Christ!!" as loud as he could. It was like a football game with him shouting, "GO JESUS CHRIST,GO!!!" Everyone else started honking, too, so I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all of those loving people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach, and saw him waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my two kids what that meant. They kind of squirmed, looked at each other, giggled and told me that it was the Hawaiian good luck sign. So, I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. Several cars behind, a very nice black man stepped out of his car and yelled something. I couldn't hear him very well, but it sounded like, "Mother trucker," or "Mother's from there." Maybe he was from Florida, too. He must really love the lord. A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and were walking toward me. I bet they wanted to pray, but just then I noticed that the light had changed, and stepped on the gas. And a good thing I did, because I was the only driver to get across the intersection. I looked back at them standing there. I leaned way out the window, gave them a big smile and held up the Hawaiian good luck sign, as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks.

0