Passengers on a small commuter plane are waiting for the flight to leave.

|A programmer and an engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from Los Angeles to New York.The programmer leans over to the engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game.The en

|Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America. Panic stricken the Secret Service mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the wreckage was clear.

|Sue and Bob, a pair of tight wads, lived in the mid west, and had been married years.Bob had always want to go flying.

|As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying

|A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting.

|A blonde went to a flight school insisting that she wanted to learn to fly. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter.

|A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy.

|At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35.

|All of these pilot and aviation jokes get me to thinking about my first skydiving instructor.

|Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.

|It was a few days before Christmas. The trip went reasonably well, and he was ready to go back home.

|An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess.

|A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland.

|Flight fifty has a pretty rough time above the ocean. Suddenly a voice comes over the intercom: "Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seat belts and assume crash positions.

|As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum.

|On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him.

|1. Ocean crossing flight: This is your Captain speaking, I just wanted to take this time to remind you that your seat cushions can be used as floatation devices.2.

|Acronyms for International AirlinesItalyALITALIA = Always Late In The Air, Late In ArrivalALITALIA = Arrived Late In Turin, And Luggage In Australia---------------------------------------------------

|1. BadAir: When you just can't wait for the world to come to you.2. BadAir: We're Amtrak with wings. 3. Join our frequent near-miss program. 4. On flights, every section is a smoking section. 5.

|Two blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland. Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced "One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer.

|It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes.

|USAir recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips.

|While cruising at 36,000 feet, the airplane shuddered, and a passenger looked out the window."Oh no!" he screamed, "One of the engines just blew up!" Other passengers left their seats and came runnin

|In the early 1930's, a farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost."$10 for 3 minutes," replied the pilot.

|An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.A few minutes later, the pilot asked t

|A pilot, Michael Jordon, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a pizza delivery man were all in a plane together traveling through stormy conditions.Suddenly, the pilot came running back to the passengers and an

|A man jumps out of an airplane with a parachute on his back. As he's falling, he realizes hiss chute is broken.

|Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and nephews. However, she had relatives all over the country.The problem was that no matter how much she enjoyed seeing them, she hated flying.

|I was flying from San Francisco to Los Angeles. By the time we took off, there had been a 45-minute delay and everybody on board was ticked. Unexpectedly, we stopped in Sacramento on the way.