A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees.

A big burly biker steps into a bar he walks over sits at the bar and orders a beer.

|A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots." Bartender says, "You want them both now or one at a time?" The guy says," Oh, I want them both now.

|A regular at Bob's Bar came in one evening sporting a matched pair of swollen black eyes that appeared extremely painful."Whoa, Sam!" said the bartender.

|A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at three in the morning, at which time he is extremely drunk.

A string walks into a bar and ask the waiter for a beer. The waiter says, "I am sorry but we can't serve strings here."The string goes home, ties himself in a knot, and messes up his hair.

Two friends were in a bar drinking a beer when one pulled out a cigar but he didn't have a lighter so he asked his friend if he had one.."I sure do," he replied and reached into his pocket and pulled

|A good samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the drunk "do you live here?" "Yep".

|One night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: "Drinks for all on me including you, bartender." So the bartender follows the mans orders and says: "That will be $36.50 pleas

|A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her.

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me.

|A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees.

|John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out.

|A man went into a bar in a high rise. He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out.

|A man walks into a bar has a few drinks and asks what his tab was. The bartender replies that it is twenty dollars plus tip.

A guy walks into a bar and sits on a stool.

|A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk.

|A seal walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.The bartender asks the seal, "What's your pleasure?"The seal replies, "Anything but Canadian Club."

|A man walks into a bar and has a couple of beers. Once he is donem the bartender tells him he owes $9.00."But I paid, don't you remember?" says the customer.

|I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double.The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me

A guy walks into a bar holding three ducks. He sets them on the bar and orders a drink. After talking with the bartender for a while, the man excuses himself to use the restroom.

|A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible.

|John Smith lived in Staten Island, New York and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferryboat home every night.

|It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper.

|A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After he finishes, he looks into his shirt pocket again and orders another shot.

A physically large guy meets a woman at a bar, and after a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place.

|A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly.

|Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of t

|The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side.

|Two men walked into a bar.You would think at least one of them would have ducked.