Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago? Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....

What's the new documentary about Madonna going to be called? Missionary Position Impossible.

How does Michael Jackson know its time for bed?When the big hand is on the little hand.

Experts say that although Frank Sinatra is dead, his act is still 150% moreentertaining than Frank Sinatra Jr.'s.

Schwarzenegger has a big one,Michael J.

What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana?One's composing, the other is decomposing.

What would Elvis be doing if he were alive today?Scratching like hell to get out of that box.

What do you call 5 dogs with no balls?The Spice Girls!

It was a nice sunny day when three men were walking down a country road, when they saw a bush with a pig's ass popping out.

Michael Jackson and the doctor are walking outof the delivery room after his wife gives birthto their son.

Mike Tyson gets out of jail and proceeds to do what he does best... find a woman with whom he may "commiserate". After a wild night of getting it on, it's time for the young lady to leave.

What's the first problem the MJ's child will have in life? Figuring out which parent is his mother.

What was the last thing Di said to Dodi?Don't you think were taking this thing a little too fast?

G: Nobody gets the girl.PG: The good guy gets the girl.R: The bad guy gets the girl.X: Everybody gets the girl!

Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?A: One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with....the other is used to carry groceries.

David Copperfield is doing his magic show and asks if anyone would like toshow him a trick.

Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??He thought it was a delivery service.

What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common?They both live off dead Beatles.

I recently had surgery on my hand, and asked the doctor if,after surgery, I would be able to play the banjo. He said, "I'm doing surgery on your hand, not giving you a lobotomy."

Lady Di is welcomed at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. Peter asks: "Oh dear, what happened to you?" Di answers: "I died in a car crash, but wait till you see my friend, he looks much worse".

What can Calista Flockhart do with dental floss? Hang herself.

What do you call a man with a blackhead on his dick?Hugh Grant.

Q: What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson'sdreams every night??A: Hansons.

Did you know that Mike Tyson has an upcoming bout with Prince Charles? It seems that no-one else has big enough ears to go 12 rounds.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new car? Neither has he.

Little Johnny goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or female?"After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well, honey, God isboth male and female."This confuses Little Johnny, so he ask

The McCartney kids are at the family ranch anxiouslyawaiting news of their mother. Paul emerges from his wife's bedroom.

A little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it.

Heard about Salman Rushdie's sequels to "Satanic Verses"? 1) Buddha, you Fat Fucking Bastard, 2) Jesus was a Lousy Carpenter.

What do Viagra And DisneyLand have in common?They both cause you to stand around for an hourwaiting for a two minute ride!!