|What do Scottish toads play?Hop-scotch!

A boy finished cutting the lawn of a priest...the grass was very thickand long, and it took the boy about 4 hours to cut.

A teacher was working with a group of underprivileged children,trying to broaden their horizons through sensory exploration.With their eyes closed, they would feel objects from pumicestones to pine co

|Where do you find giant snails?At the end of giants fingers!

A first-grade class is having a game of Name That Animal.The teacher held up a picture of a cat."What animal is this?" she asked. "A cat!" said Eddie."Good job!

A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room.

|What do you call a 100 spiders on a tyre?A spinning wheel!

A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner "Mom& Pop" grocery picking out a pretty good size box of laundrydetergent.

The following is a "history" collected by teachers throughout theUnited States, from eighth grade through college level.

|What's the difference between a worm and an apple?Have you ever tried worm pie?

A little boy and his dad are standing in line at the grocery store behind a big fat lady.

This guy and his girlfriend are fighting....she says "I'm breaking up with you." "Why??" he asks. She says "because you are a pedophile". He says "Pedophile??????

|What did the worm say to the other when he was late home?Where in earth have you been!

|What's green and tough?A toad with a machine gun!

Little Johnny goes into a pharmacy and asks the chemist for some rubbers.The chemist puts a pack of rubbers on the counter. Johnny looks at therubbers and asks the chemist if he has any other kind.

A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a very fancy new 10 speed bike. "Where did you get the money for the bike? It must have cost $300." "Easy, Dad," the boy replied.

|What is a mouse's favorite record?'Please cheese me'!

|Q: Why do you need a licence for a dog and not for a cat?A: Cats can't drive!Q: What do you call a dog in the middle of a muddy road?A: A mutt in a rut!Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a bl

|Is there a mouse in the house?No, but there's a moose on the loose!

|Why did the elephant walk on two feet?To give the ants a chance!Why do elephants have trunks?Because they've no pockets to put things in!Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain?To

|What kind of musical instrument do mice play?A mouse organ!

|What kind of money do fishermen make?Net profits!What do you get if you cross a salmon, a bird's leg and a hand?Birdsthigh fish fingers!What kind of noise annoys an oyster?A noisy noise annoys an oys

|Why was the frog down in the mouth?He was un hoppy!

|Why is it better to be a grasshopper than a cricket?Because grasshoppers can play cricket but crickets can't play grasshopper!

|Where do ants go for their holidays?Frants!What do you call an ant who skips school?A truant!What do you get if you cross some ants with some tics?All sorts of antics!What do you call a greedy ant?An

|What has antlers and sucks blood?A moose-quito!

|Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep?A: A stripey sweater!Q: How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling?A: She's got that down in the mouth look!Q: What do you get if you cross

|Why did the toad become a lighthouse keeper?He had his own frog horn!

"Dad," said the boy, "we had a spelling contest in school today, and I missed on the very first word." "That's too bad Son." consoled the Father, "What was the word ?" "Posse."

Did you hear about the 10 year old boy who asked his recentlydivorced mother her age? She told him that was not a questionto ask and that he shouldn't ask it again.He then asked her her weight.