"Winnie The ????" It was the first day after Christmas vacation in a 3rd grade class. The teacher told the class that each student could tell the class one thing they got for Christmas.

|Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag?They can lighten your load!

A teacher said to her little student Suzy, "Punctuate the following sentence: Fun fun fun worry worry worry."Little Suzy thought for a moment and began her reply, "Let's see.

A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins,to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed.Upon regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentlessworld-class practical

|How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm?it has a blue light!

|What do frogs drink?Hot croako!

"Why do you look so glum today?", the teacher asked young Johnny. "I didn't have no breakfast," Johnny mumbled. "You poor dear," said the teacher.

Vicar: Whats that you're doing, Tommy?Tommy: Sticking bangers up frogs arses, Vicar.Vicar: Rectum, Tommy.Tommy: Blows 'em to fucking pieces, Vicar!

|Whats the world weakest animal?A toad, he croaks if you even touch him!

Little Johnny tried out for the school play. The teacher gave him these lines to practice:"Hark! A pistol shot! There lies a lady with hope in her soul.

Little Johnny's mother decided to give her son an anatomy lesson one day, so she took off all of her clothes and pointed to her vagina, and said, "Johnny.

|What do you do when two snails have a fight?Leave them to slug it out!

A shapely lady in a bikini walked into the ocean to take a swim.

A little girl came running into the house crying and miserable from a small cut she just received. She asked her mom for a glass of cider. "Why do you want cider?" asked Mom.

Q: What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late?

A: You're spinning me a yarn here!

A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to Little Johnny .

|What goes eek, eek, bang?A mouse in a minefield!

|Q: What kind of meat do you give a stupid dog?A: Chump chops!Q: How many seasons are there in a dogs life?A: Just one, the moulting season!Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?A: It doesn't matter

|What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?A gerbil shepherd dog!

|Why shouldn't you take an elephant to the zoo?Because he'd rather go to the movies!What's blue and has big ears?An elephant at the North Pole!What's grey and lights up?An electric elephant!What's big

|Why do mice have long tails?Well, they'd look silly with long hair!

|Why are gold fish orange?The water makes them rusty!Who held the baby octopus to ransome?Squidnappers!What part of a fish weighs the most?It's scales!What fish do road-menders use?Pneumatic krill!Wha

|Why is a frog luckier than a cat?Because a frog croaks all the time but a cat only gets to croak nine times!

|What is green and can jump a mile in a minute?A grasshopper with hiccups!

|What do you call an ant who lives with your great uncle?Your great-ant!Who was the most famous ant scientist?Albert Antstein!What games to ants play with elephants?Squash!What do you call a 100 year

|What is a mosquito's favorite sport?Skin-diving!

|Q: What looks like half a cat?A: The other half!Q: What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater?A: 'Claws.' Q: If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal

The Wisdom of Youth Never give up because life gets harder as you get older. After preschool the road of life keeps getting bumpier and bumpier and bumpier.

|What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python?A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death!

Johnny is walking along and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"The priest says, "Because I'm a father."Johnny says, "Yeah?