Mac vs.

|The holiday season would cost $16 million but would be celebrated faster than any other holiday during the year.

TOP10.Subject: Gullibility Virus alert (fwd) ****************************************************************** WARNING, CAUTION, DANGER, AND BEWARE!

|Log on - Adding a log to your wood stoveLog off - Don't add a log to your wood stoveMonitor - Keep an eye on the wood stoveMegahertz - When a big log drops on your bare foot in the morningFloppy disk

If Apple made toasters...It would do everything the Microsoft toaster does, but 5 yearsearlier.

|ORIGAMIArt of paper folding. In order to obtain a nice and effectiveness result, put the floppy in the disk drive after folding it several times in different directions.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Jewish American Princess with a computer?A: A computer that never goes down on you.

|WinErr 001: Windows loaded - System in danger WinErr 002: No Error - Yet WinErr 003: Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file WinErr 004: Erroneous error - Nothing is wrong WinErr 00

Have you been spending more and more time using the Internet? Have your cheeks taken on that pasty white glow from over-exposure to your computer monitor?

|AUSTIN, Texas - The exasperated help-line caller said she couldn't get her new Dell computer to turn on. Jay Ablinger, a Dell Computer Corp.

|100 Buckets of Bits100 buckets of bits on the bus 100 buckets of bits Take one down, short it to ground FF buckets of bits on the bus FF buckets of bits on the bus FF buckets of bits Take one down, s

|From "Machine Design" Magazine......Byte BatAll too often, computers aren't up when you need them, or some sort of system error costs you a lot of time and effort.

|Actual dialog of a former Customer Support employee: Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?" Customer: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." Support: "What sort of troub

The Story of Micro and MiniMicro was a real-time operator and dedicated multi-user.

|You would be able to hang over 64,000 ornaments on your tree (all identical) at the same time.

Microsoft Addresses Justice Department AccusationsREDMOND, Wash. - Oct. 23, 1997 -- In direct response to accusations made by the Department of Justice, the Microsoft Corp.

|What if Dr. Seuss was a technical writer?

Does DEC still make toasters...? They made good toasters in the '70s, didn't they?

|10. The monitor is up on blocks.9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them. 8. The six front keys have rotted out. 7. The extra RAM slots have truck parts installed in them. 6.

Dear Tech Support:Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that thenew program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules,limiting access to flower and jewelry

|10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000.9. He's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes three years running.8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex.7.

DOS Beer: Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can.

|If architects had to work like programmers . . .Dear Mr. Architect,Please design and build me a house.

|My computer broke down. It crashed and burned! And for my AOL, I really yearned! I tried to stay busy...And keep it off my mind. It was worse than cigarettes, at least butts I can find!!

|11th-hour tweaks for Windows '98 by Microsoft10. Included subliminal "Impeach Janet Reno" messages in start-up screen. 9.

|WRITE IN C (sung to The Beatles "Let it Be")When I find my code in tons of trouble,Friends and colleagues come to me,Speaking words of wisdom:"Write in C."As the deadline fast approaches,And bugs ar

Millennia Year Application Software System This memo is to announce the development of a new firm-wide software system.

|The holiday would be cheap, small, quartz-crystal driven, and would let you take a licking and keep on shopping.

TOP TEN PROPOSED NEW DOMAINSEarlier this week, Gregory Nemitz and a handful of space enthusiasts proposed creating specialdomains, including ".luna" and ".moon," for Web sites based on the moon.

|10. Lower corner of screen has the words "Etch-a-sketch" on it.9. It's celebrity spokesman is that "Hey Vern!" guy.8. In order to start it, you need some jumper cables and a friend's car.7.