The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?

A: Try a bookstore... under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?

A senior citizen in Florida bought a brand new Corvette convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head.

THERE WERE THREE OLD LADIES SITTING AROUND THE KITCHEN TABLE; GERTRUDE, SOPHIA, AND HARRIET.

"What's wrong, sonny?" asked the old timer sympathetically, coming overto the little kid who was sitting on the curb, crying his heart out."I'm crying 'cause I can't do what the big boys do!" So the o

Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies.They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.

|A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup.

|Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home. The first says, "Fellas, I got real problems. I'm seventy years old. Every morning at seven o'clock I get up and I try to urinate.

A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a seated young girl.

|OLD HIKERS never die, they just trail awayOLD HIPPIES never die, they just smell that wayOLD HOCKEY PLAYERS never die, they just achieve their final goalOLD HOMEBREWERS never die, they just ferment a

Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. Thedoctor says to the first man, "What is three times three?""274," was his reply.The doctor says to the second man, "It's your turn.

"Dear Reyer School, God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizen's luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the county home for the aged. All my people are gone.

Jacob age 85, and Rebecca age 79 are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way go past a drugstore. Jacob suggests that they go in.

|The Senate is investigating deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly and make them think they will receive a bunch of money, but in reality they never see any of it.

|There was an old man whose family could no longer afford to take care of him. So the family decided that a nusring for the aged would be appropriate.

A tiny but dignified old lady was among a group looking at an art exhibition in a newly opened gallery.

|OLD KIDS never die, they just grow upOLD KNIGHTS IN CHAIN MAIL never die, they just shuffle off their metal coilsOLD LASER PHYSICISTS never die, they just become incoherentOLD LAWYERS never die, they

A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse. He got out and knocked at the door.

An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phoney beard sat down at a bar and ordered a drink.

An elderly lady was stopped to pull into a parking space when a youngman in his new red Mercedes went around her and parked in the space shewas waiting for.

|A story I'll tell of a burglar boldWho started to rob a house;He opened the window, and then crept inAs quiet as a mouse.He looked around for a place to hide,'Till the folks were all asleep,Then said

|A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.

Three old ladies are walking down the street. They are hard of hearing.One: Whew, it's windy today!Two: No. Today's Thursday!Three: So am I! Let's go to a bar!

|OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just they just change colorOLD MAGICIANS never die, they just they're just fooling themselvesOLD MAIDS count on fingers, but young girls count on legsOLD MATH TEACHERS n

|OLD MUSICIANS never die, they just get played outOLD MUSICIANS never die, they just go from bar to barOLD NUCLEAR POWER PLANTS never die, they just go off-lineOLD NUMERICAL ANALYSTS never die, they j

An 80-year-old couple were having problems remembering things, so theydecided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing waswrong with them.

An old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing home. One day he went into thenurses' office and informed Nurse Jones that his penis died.Nurse Jones, realizing the Mr.

|Recently seen on a card...Outside: We dont feel sorry for you blowing all those candles, what about us...Inside: ... We had to stay up all night lighting them!

|How do I know that my youth is all spent?Well, my get up and go has got up and went.But in spite of it all I am able to grinwhen I recall where my get up has been.Old age is golden-so I've heard it s

|A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said.