The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?

A: Try a bookstore... under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?

A senior citizen in Florida bought a brand new Corvette convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head.

What's the best thing about turning 65?No more calls from insurance salesmen.

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holdingher hat on tight, so that it would not blow off in the wind.A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam.

|An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.

|We're over the hill but don't feel sadThis side of the hill ain't all that bad.So give us "five" and then a smileTo us who have been here for awhile.With by-pass pain and mended hipAnd plumbing fixtu

There was an old married couple that had happily lived together for nearly forty years.

|OLD FOOTBALL PLAYERS never die, they just go to the end zoneOLD FOOTBALLERS never die, they just kick the bucketOLD FORESTERS never die, they just pine awayOLD FRIDGE REPAIRMEN never die, they just b

Here is this guy who really takes care of his body,he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day.One morning he looks into the mirror and admires hisbody.

"What's wrong, sonny?" asked the old timer sympathetically, coming overto the little kid who was sitting on the curb, crying his heart out."I'm crying 'cause I can't do what the big boys do!" So the o

Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies.They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.

|A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup.

|Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home. The first says, "Fellas, I got real problems. I'm seventy years old. Every morning at seven o'clock I get up and I try to urinate.

A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a seated young girl.

|OLD HIKERS never die, they just trail awayOLD HIPPIES never die, they just smell that wayOLD HOCKEY PLAYERS never die, they just achieve their final goalOLD HOMEBREWERS never die, they just ferment a

THERE WERE THREE OLD LADIES SITTING AROUND THE KITCHEN TABLE; GERTRUDE, SOPHIA, AND HARRIET.

"Dear Reyer School, God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizen's luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the county home for the aged. All my people are gone.

Jacob age 85, and Rebecca age 79 are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way go past a drugstore. Jacob suggests that they go in.

|The Senate is investigating deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly and make them think they will receive a bunch of money, but in reality they never see any of it.

|There was an old man whose family could no longer afford to take care of him. So the family decided that a nusring for the aged would be appropriate.

A tiny but dignified old lady was among a group looking at an art exhibition in a newly opened gallery.

|OLD KIDS never die, they just grow upOLD KNIGHTS IN CHAIN MAIL never die, they just shuffle off their metal coilsOLD LASER PHYSICISTS never die, they just become incoherentOLD LAWYERS never die, they

Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. Thedoctor says to the first man, "What is three times three?""274," was his reply.The doctor says to the second man, "It's your turn.

An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phoney beard sat down at a bar and ordered a drink.

An elderly lady was stopped to pull into a parking space when a youngman in his new red Mercedes went around her and parked in the space shewas waiting for.

|A story I'll tell of a burglar boldWho started to rob a house;He opened the window, and then crept inAs quiet as a mouse.He looked around for a place to hide,'Till the folks were all asleep,Then said

|A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.

Three old ladies are walking down the street. They are hard of hearing.One: Whew, it's windy today!Two: No. Today's Thursday!Three: So am I! Let's go to a bar!

|OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just they just change colorOLD MAGICIANS never die, they just they're just fooling themselvesOLD MAIDS count on fingers, but young girls count on legsOLD MATH TEACHERS n