|Heard on a radio station.What did the female mushroom say about the male mushroom?"He's a real fun guy [fungi]."

|When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed.

|Q: Ever wonder about people who pay $2 for a bottle of Evian water?A: Just spell "Evian" backwards!

|A man visits his aunt in the nursing home.

|A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"The stock boy replied, "No

|In an effort to clarify questions about the purported durability and unusual physical characteristics of Twinkies, we subjected the Hostess snack logs to the following experiments:ExposureA Twinkie w

|Food quotes, quips, and thoughts . . ."Artichokes ... are just plain annoying ...

|From Reuters News Service:Canada's Ottawa Citizen newspaper recently printed a recipe for Chanterelle Lemon Pasta in its food section, calling for one cup of Chanterelle mushrooms.

|A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.There was a big sign posted.

|10. Eight hour lunch, two dollar tip.9. Ask, "Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?"8. After he describes each special, you shout, "Garbage!"7.

|In February 1994 in New Brighton, Minn., a 32-year-old man and his 24-year-old girlfriend were arrested after a food fight in a grocery store.

|This weekend, I discovered a cooking tip I haven't seen listed in any cookbooks.While you are preparing the food, and after the guests have arrived, you contrive to fill the house up with smoke, pref

|Here's a delightful treat someone once made for an office Christmas party:A gelatin mold should be made with Knox Unflavored Gelatin and red food coloring.

|Johnny: Daddy, are caterpillars good to eat?Father: Have I not told you never to mention such things during meals!Mother: Why did you say that, Junior?

|In January 1994, 'The Economist' magazine reported that one of Secretary of Energy Hazel O'Leary's success stories about government research scientists hired out for civilian business uses was the Ar

|Patron: Waiter!Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter.

|One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner.

|You'll need the following: a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four large eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of baking soda, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bott

|A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant.

|An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter.

|A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind.

|By Barbara Florio GrahamFrom McCall's, June, 1983I read every diet I can get my hands on. I even follow their suggestions. But eventually, inevitably, I always get fat again.

|The snack bar next door to an atom smasher was called "The Fission Chips."On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker under the pancakes.

|About 85% of women are responsible for cooking the family dinner, and 84% wish they didn't have to.

|Taipei, Taiwan (AP) - Diners tempted to lick a plate after a delicious meal can now go a step further - eat the plate.Chen Liang-erh, 50, an amateur inventor, announced Friday that he had perfected a

|Bachelor's DietMONDAY:BREAKFAST - Who can eat breakfast on a Monday?

|With more than twelve billion catalogs being mailed annually, it's little wonder that marketers are distributing mailing lists anywhere possible.

|Do you want to know if you suffer from "Alertness Deficit Disorder" (ADD)? Then just take this simple quiz.

|Cologne, May 27 dpa - The U.S.

|M&M's: The Theory of EvolutionWhenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species.To this end, I hold M&M duels.Taking two cand