|The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility.As part of the negotiations, Her Maj

|1. Avoid alliteration. Always.2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.3. Employ the vernacular.4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. 5.

|A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive.

|Amazing AnagramsDormitory == Dirty Room Desperation == A Rope Ends It The Morse Code == Here Come Dots Slot Machines == Cash Lost in 'em Animosity == Is No Amity Snooze Alarms == Alas!

|The English LanguageHave you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?Let's face itEnglish is a stupid language.There is no egg in the eggplantNo ham in the hamburgerAnd ne

|Eye Halve a Spelling ChequerEye halve a spelling chequerIt came with my pea seaIt plainly marques four my revueMiss steaks eye kin knot sea.Eye strike a key and type a wordAnd weight four it two sayW

|Q: How many letters are there in the alphabet?A: Twenty-four, because E.T. went home.

|Q: What do you call Santa's Helpers?A: Subordinate clauses!

|Q: What does Santa call his wife at tax time?A: A dependent Claus.

|How many letters are there in the alphabet?Noel, noel, noel, noel ... the angels did say...E.T. went home.Get rid of X.

|How you can spot a Canadian, eh? -Don McGillivray (Ottawa columnist for Southam Newspapers)How do you tell a Canadian from an American?It used to be enough to ask him to say the alphabet.

|An American will say, "Hot day!" A Canadian will say, "Hot day, eh?" meaning "It's a hot day, isn't it?"This is something deeper than spelling or pronunciation.

|The Committee for the Reduction of Redundancy and the Antiproliferation of Repetition has decided not to meet until they have their first meeting and thus will not be meeting until the first time.The

|BEING CREATIVE WITH TROUBLESOME KIN You are working on your family genealogy and for sake of example, let's say that your great-great uncle, Remus Starr, a fellow lacking in character, was hanged for

|Dearest creature in creation,Study English pronunciation.I will teach you in my verseSounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.I will keep you, Suzy, busy,Make your head with heat grow dizzy.Tear i