|A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented.

It seems that a devout, good couple was about to get married,but a tragic car accident ended their lives. When they got toheaven, they asked St.

|NO ZAMBODIANS, PLEASE: Judge Rules Out Prince Mongo's CostumeMEMPHIS, Tenn.

What did the lawyer name his daughter? Sue.

|The two partners in a law firm were having lunch when suddenly one of them jumped up and said, "I have to go back to the office - I forgot to lock the safe!"The other partner replied, "What are you w

Why does the law prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.

A stingy old lawyer was on his deathbed. He instructed his wife to fill two large pillowcases with money thinking he could pick them up on his way to heaven.

|The below excerpts appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune.

A man wanted a big, verocious dog to protect his business, so he visited a kennel that specialized in attack dogs.

|Lawyer: "Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?"Client: "After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning, I?m beginning to think I didn?t."

A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender "Do you serve lawyers here?" "Sure do," replied the bartender.

|The following is a true story, and this situation supposedly occurred in a real courtroom.At a trial, an attorney was putting witnesses through an exacting cross-examination, and was taking great del

|A young lawyer, starting up his private practice, was very anxious to impress potential clients.

A lawyer passed on and found himself in Heaven,but not at all happy with his accommodations.He complained to St. Peter, who told him that hisonly recourse was to appeal his assignment.

|Take heart, America. Three monkey wrenches have been thrown into Japan's well-oiled economic machine.

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed bronze sculpture of a rat.

Do you know the problem with lawyer jokes?Lawyers don't think they're funny, and the rest of us don'tthink they're jokes!

What do a lawyer and sperm have in common?They both have a one in a million chance of being human.

|A Dublin lawyer died in poverty, and many people donated to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling.

What do you call a sky-diving club for lawyers?Skeet.

|A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, "Give it to me straight. How long have I got?" The physician replied that he doubted that the man would survive the night.

WILE E. COYOTE, Plaintiff v.s. THE ACME COMPANY, INC., Defendant In the United States District Court, Southwestern District, Tempe, Arizona Case No.

|Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?A0: Three; one to do it and two to sue him for malpractice.A1: It only takes one lawyer to change your light bulb to his light bulb.A2: You won

|Warning Signs that you Might Need a Different Lawyer 1-) Your lawyer tells you that his last good case was of Budweiser. 2-) When the prosecutors see your lawyer, they high-five each other.

|St.

Why do they bury lawers 26 feet underground?Because deep down, they are really nice guys.

|Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her classes:"A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars.

What happens when a lawyer takes viagra?He gets taller!!Sent by Bill

Mr. Dewey was briefing his client, who was about to testify in his own defense. "You must swear to tell the complete truth. Do you understand?" The client replied that he did.

What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?A good start!