The state legislature in California is considering a bill that would allow electronic advertisements on license plates.

|A fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a guaranteed weight loss program.

Here are some people who should not be allowed to venture into society:Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.A ma

Dear Tech Support:I am writing this letter as a last resort.

One day O'Leary decided to visit his friend Paddy and ask him for a favour."Paddy my friend", he said.

Why does Clinton were underwear? To keep his ankles warm!

Q. How can you tell when a Jewish girl has an orgasm?A. She drops her nail file.

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

A Jewish family invited their Redneck neighbors over for holiday dinner.

A man goes into a greasy spoon-type cafe and he says, "I would like one of your special full English breakfasts".

1. No known species of reindeer can fly.

Sung to the tune of "The Beverly Hillbillies"Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named John,A poor ex-marine with little fraction gone,It seems one night after gettin' with the wife,She lopped off

Did you ever hear about Blitzen the Brown nosed reindeer?He is twice as fast as Rudolf but doesn't stop as quick!

Mr. Jones, upon returning from a business trip was shocked to find his wife in bed with a stranger.

A guy goes to buy a train ticket, and the girl selling tickets has an incredible set of jugs.He says, "Give me two pickets to Titsburgh...umm...I mean, two tickets to Pittsburgh".

There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a soda machine and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst.

- Her 8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses 9:00 5 lbs lighter on the scale 9:30 Light Breakfast 11:00 Sunbathe 12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe 1:45 Shopping 2:30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's

Q: What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde?A: A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.

Why do men have a hole in their penis?So oxygen can get to their brains.

17. "I finished the Oreo's." 16. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs forty pounds." 15. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby." 14.

In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell.At work you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle.In prison you get three meals a day.At work you only get a break for one meal

The morning after an all-night honeymoon extravaganza in bed, the newlywed wife snuggles up to her hubby and asks, "Sweetheart, how many others were there before me?"After a few minutes of silence, th

People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the ark. The preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" and five guys stand up. The restrooms are outside.

Damn...did you see the size of that front tooth gap she had? Yeah...I didn't know wether to smile back or kick a field goal!

There was this guy who bought an elderly circus elephant. Alas, he couldn't afford to feed it. He'd never seen an elephant jump with all 4 feet off the ground.

A man is walking along the road, when he hears someone shouting "Twelve! Twelve!" over a fence.As he walks closer to the fence, they start shouting "Thirteen!

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

Six months into a marriage, a man was asked by his best friend how everything was going. He replied, "Oh, just fine. We practically never have any arguments. In the morning, she does what she wants.

There was an old man in a bar who was staring at a punk in the corner.