|A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket.

|My Mother taught me LOGIC..."If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me." My Mother taught me MEDICINE..."If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to

|Things My Mother Taught MeMy Mother taught me LOGIC..."If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me." My Mother taught me MEDICINE..."If you don't stop crossing y

|When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child.The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the olde

|The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool."Everyone knows," the mother lectured him, "that from time to time, young children will urinate in a pool." "Oh really?"

|The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch. Someone dialed 911.

|A Teenager is... A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number. A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast.

|A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit, the wife being pregnant with their first child.After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife's stomach with

|Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say10. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions. 9.

|The First Parent by Bill Cosby Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to his kids.

|The following is a true story written by an educational psychologist and her experience on a plane.On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent-education seminars I conduct

|Laws of Household PhysicsEver notice that the laws of household physics are every bit as real as every other law in the universe? Here are a few examples: 1.

|A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts.

|For two solid hours, the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane had told him about her grandchildren.

|Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time.

|Things Mom Would Never Say"How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?" "Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too" "Just leave all the lights on ...

|A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. "Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme'?" she asked.

|Mom's Brownies RecipeRemove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375. Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan. Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Jr "no, no." Add margarine to 2 cups sugar.

|Today is one of the first Father's Days of our new millennium.

|Kids can sometimes ask the toughest questions.Son: Father, Can I ask you a question?Father: Ok ask.Son: When a doctor doctors a doctor, does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as the doctor being

|Are You Ready for Children?Mess Test: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flowerbed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons.

|With four daughters and one son always dashing to school activities and part-time jobs, our schedule was hectic.To add to this, we kept running out of household supplies.I instructed them all to let

|Great truths about life that adults have learnedRaising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree. There is always alot to be thankful for if you take the time to look.

|The Evolution of Mom Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby.

|The advice your son rejected is now being given by him to your grandson.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific

|For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unbor

|A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man.

|Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor.The nurse arrived and announced to the first man, "Congratulations sir, you're the father of twins.

|My wife and I are both the youngest child.

|There was a woman who was pregnant with twins, and shortly before they were due, she had an accident and went into a coma. Her husband was away on business, and unable to be reached.