A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.

|A cop stops a man for running a stop sign and the subject gives the cop a lot of grief explaining that he did stop.After several minutes, the cop explained to the gentleman that he didn't stop, he ju

|A man with a nagging secret couldn't keep it any longer. In the confessional he admitted that for years he had been stealing building supplies from the lumberyard where he worked.

|A truck driver was driving along on the freeway.

|A young man was walking into town one day when a wood hauler gave him a ride.After traveling about a mile or two, the truck was stopped by the highway patrol for a weight check and inspection.The tru

|Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a police roadblock!!

|A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:Officer: May I see your driver's license?Driver: I don't have one.

|On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone

|Ten Signs The Police Chief Hates You10. He sends you on drug raids....alone.9. He refers to you as "Our Little Mascot."8.

|Police Chief: As a recruit, you'll be faced with some difficult issues. What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?New Recruit: Call for backup!

|A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar.A $40 speeding ticket was included.Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40.The police responded with

|The phone rings at FBI headquarters."Hello? I'm calling to report my neighbor, Clifford.

|In prison, you get three square meals a day. At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your kids to eat it. In prison, you get an hour each day in the yard to exercise and mingle.

|The following is a direct quote from the Center for Strategic and International Studies report on GLOBAL ORGANIZED CRIME.

|"When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least.""You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old."

|After shopping in a mall, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report.

|There was an inebriated driver who was pulled up by the police.

|This hillbilly is traveling across Texas when a state policeman pulls him over."You got any I.D.?" the patrolman asked.""'Bout what?" the hillbilly replied.

|Two Alabama State Troopers were chasing a Camaro East on I-20 toward Georgia.

|A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Morris gets out.The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park...and couldn't find

|The policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a telephone pole.Searching for witnesses, he discovered a pale, nervous young man in work clothes who claimed he was an

|A tourist asks a man in uniform, "Are you a policeman?""No, I am an undercover detective.""So why are you in uniform?""Today is my day off."

|Little Tommy's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station. There they saw pictures tacked to a big bulletin board.

|This is supposedly a true story, it happened in a small town of the province of Quebec, Canada, in October 1996.

|A farmer who's been involved in a terrible road accident with a large truck ended up in court fighting for a big compensation claim."I understand you're claiming damages for the injuries you're suppo

|Police officer: Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle.Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog can't even ride a bicycle.

|A Rabbi and a Priest are driving one day and, by a freak accident, have a head-on collision with tremendous force.

|My horoscope read, "You're going places and you can't be stopped."Apparently the cop who gave me a ticket hadn't read it.

|A judge grew tired of seeing the same town drunk in front of his bench.

|Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty.