A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.

|A man was recently flying to New York. He decided to strike up a conversation with his seat mate."I've got a great policeman joke.

|John was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?""No problem at all.

|1. You have the right to remain motionless, or you may elect to run away from me.2. Should you decide to run, I shall direct my K-9 to chase you down to the ends of the earth.3.

|Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer see's a car puttering along at 22 MPH.He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder

|A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife.

|An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening worship service and was startled to find an intruder in her house.Catching the man in the act of burglarizing her home, she yelled, "STO

|The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test.

|Three men are going through CIA training, trying to become secret agents.

|A traffic Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name.She said, "I'm Mrs.

|Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they laid down for the night, and went to sleep.

|The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, sir.

|Signs Your Partner Needs A Vacation9. Every Tuesday he insists it's his turn to be the siren.8. He wants to transfer to a K-9 unit because he thinks he'd look good in a collar.7.

|While driving down the road the motorist saw a roadside stand which had a fortune teller sitting under an umbrella. She was just sitting there smiling and laughing.

|Late one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening."Aye, so I have.

|Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates.

|A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices.The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000.

|While driving along the back roads of a small town, two truckers came to an overpass with a sign that read CLEARANCE 11'3."They got out and measured their rig, which was 12'4.""What do you think?" on

|The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window."I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.The guy replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I co

|A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely.When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the dam

|A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me.

|A cop pulls a guy over for weaving across two lanes of traffic.He walks up to the drivers window and asks, "You drinkin'?"The driver said, "You buyin'?"

|A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes.He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."The man says, "Sorry o

|St Peter is standing at heaven's gate when a man walks up."Welcome to heaven my son.

|The following supposedly a true story.This guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer.

|The 4 Basic Food Groups for Police Officers1. Glazed2. Jelly3. Powdered4. Chocolate Frosted

|A middle aged woman was driving through a school zone when a policeman pulled her over for speeding.

|A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:Man: What's the problem officer?Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.Man: No sir, I was going 65.Wife: Oh Harr

|A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a police officer walked in the store.The three women decide to hide in three potato sacks.The cop kicks the first bag, and the brun

|A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before."You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant."No, no no!" said the man.