A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.

|The 4 Basic Food Groups for Police Officers1. Glazed2. Jelly3. Powdered4. Chocolate Frosted

|A middle aged woman was driving through a school zone when a policeman pulled her over for speeding.

|A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:Man: What's the problem officer?Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.Man: No sir, I was going 65.Wife: Oh Harr

|A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a police officer walked in the store.The three women decide to hide in three potato sacks.The cop kicks the first bag, and the brun

|A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes.He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."The man says, "Sorry o

|St Peter is standing at heaven's gate when a man walks up."Welcome to heaven my son.

|The following supposedly a true story.This guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer.

|A cop was interrogating a very intoxicated Irishman, who was also severly bleeding.The officer asked, "Can you describe the person who did this to you?"The Irishman replied, "That's what I was doing

|A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building.

|A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either.

|One Day Stupid, Trouble, and Shut Up were driving along in their car when Trouble suddenly hurled himself out of the window.Well, Stupid and Shut Up did not know what to do so they went to the police

|A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before."You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant."No, no no!" said the man.

|A man was speeding down a Alabama highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed.

|A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car.

|Two guys were walking along a road in Georgia when they were struck by a police car driven by a drunken cop.One guy was thrown through the windshield and his buddy was knocked down an embankment.The

|A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together.

|One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations.

|A very wealthy lawyer retreated for several weeks each year to his summer home in the backwoods of Maine.

|Traffic was backed up for miles, the police were going car to car. When they got to my car I asked the officer what was going on.He said "It's Al Gore.

|Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker.

|Why do they put a suicide watch on death row prisoners? Why would you care if a man you're planning to kill anyway, kills himself? Does it spoil the fun?

|The Judge said to the defendant. "I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again.""Your Honor," the criminal said, "that's what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn't listen."

|A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives.

|The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job."Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?""11" he

|A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight!Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet.Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up s

|A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street."But officer," the man began, "I can explain.""Just be quiet," snapped the officer.

|A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat.He stopped the car and asked, "Why, Irish Mike, thi

|One day there was a woman who lost her cat named "LOVE." It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York.

|HEADLINE: A hole has appeared in the ladies changing rooms at the sports club. Police are looking into it.