John McCain watched the recent vice presidential debate between Sarah Palin and Joe Biden. He loved Sarah Palin's performance!

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.

|Lil' Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism.

Why did the chicken cross the road?BILL CLINTON: Let me say this one more time.I did not have sexual relations withthat chicken.

A reporter cornered George W.

Finally, Serbian hackers hacked the navigation systems of "Tomahawk" missiles -- now they're called "Boomerang."

"Things are more like they are now than they have ever been." --President Gerald Ford "My fellow astronauts..."--Vice-President Dan Quayle, beginning a speech at an Apollo 11 anniversary celebration.

A guy is sitting at a bar and orders a drink. At the same time the TV go's on and there is Bill Clinton about to give a speech. The man yells, "There's a horses ass"A guy gets up and punches him..

MICHAEL KENNEDY What's the difference between John Denver and Michael Kennedy? John Denver made it alive out of Aspen. Has Elton John re-written any of his songs for Michael Kennedy?

George W. Bush was passing through an airplane terminaland he noticed an old man in a long white robe, with along white beard, long white hair and carrying two stonetablets in his arms.

Some time ago Mr. Clinton was hosting a state dinner when at the last minute his regular cook took ill and they had to get a replacement at short notice.

Working With The FBIThe phone rings at FBI headquarters."Hello?""Hello, is this the FBI?""Yes. What do you want?""I'm calling to report my neighbor Adrian Thibodeaux!

The FBI finally came back with the DNA results.Clinton was a perfect match.So was all of Arkansas.

It is time to elect a world leader and your vote counts.Here's the scoop on the three leading candidates.Candidate A: associates with ward heelers and consultswith astrologists.

1. I'll turn capital punishment into a new game show!2. I promise to get cocaine off our streets: 1 kilo at a time. 3. I'll finish what Bill started -- the interns.4. Like father, like son.

Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child? Because dad can't keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them.Sent by Nic

President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar.A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?"The barman says, "Yep, that's them."So the guy walks over and s

President Clinton to maid: Mam, can you do something about Hillary's room. She complains that it's the ugliest room in the White House. Maid: Yes, Mr. President--I'll remove the mirrors right away.

In a survey of American women, when asked, "Would you sleep with President Clinton?" 86% replied, "Not again"

While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90 year old man (he got his hand caught in a gate while working his cattle)a doctor and the old man were discussing Bush's health care reform ideas.

What does Bill say to prospective interns?"Haven't I cum across your face before?"

Why did the chicken cross the road?- To escape an oppressive military regime.

What does Ted Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he had?? An ex-wife and a dead girl friend.

One morning Bill Clinton wakes up. He looks out side,it had snowed during the night and everything wascovered in snow.

George W.

The Yugoslav news agency Tanjug reported that Yugoslavianair defenses had shot down a NATO F-16 just after nightfallwhile the jet was on a bombing run.

A busload of politicians were driving down a country road when, all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road, and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field.The old farmer, after seeing what had happen

How did Bill and Hillary Clinton first meet?They were both dating the same girl in high school.

Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky? Pres: Improper? ... Ain't nothing improper about that.

We, the people of Florida, are holding this election hostage.When you, the people of the U.S., promise to stop sending usyour old people, we will release your election.