Two guys, of limited intelligence, were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean.

You've ever been blacklisted from a bowling alley.

Unlike clothes and shoes, a toothbrush should never be a hand-me-down item.

If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.

Your high school annual is now a mug shot book for the police department.

Remember to leave a generous tip for good service. After all, their mobile home costs just as much as yours.

The highlight of your family reunion was your sister's nude dancing debut.

A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.

Do not allow the dog to eat at the table . . . no matter how good his manners are.

You've ever done your Christmas shopping at a truck stop.

Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.

you might be a red neck if you think the last words to the star spangled banner is "gentlemen start your engines"

There is a stuffed 'possum mounted anywhere in your home.

Livestock is usually a poor choice for a wedding gift.

It's not OK for the groom to bring a date to the wedding.

When dancing, never remove undergarments, no matter how hot it is.

What are the last words that a redneck usually says before he dies?"Hey ya'll. Watch this!"

You consider a six pack of beer and a bug-zapper quality entertainment.

Never take a beer to a job interview or ask if they press charges.

Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.

You might be a redneck if your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign still on it.

Your lifetime goal is to own your own fireworks stand.

You might be a redneck if you've been married three timesand still have the same in-laws.

You prefer to walk the excess length off your jeans rather then hem them.

You might be a redneck if the centerpiece on your dining room table is an original signed work by a famous taxidermist.

You go to a stock car race and don't need a program.

You might be a redneck if you lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.

Someone asks to see your I.D. and you show them your belt buckle.

You might be a redneck if you think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

Your junior-senior prom had a day-care center.

Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

Less than half the cars you own run.

You've ever used lard in bed.

You grow your sideburns longer and fuller because it looks so good on your sister.

You think potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'oeuvre.