Three Pastors from the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, "Ya know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church.

An old drunk stumbles into a confessional. After not hearing anything for a while the Priest knocked on the wall. The drunk said forget it buddy there's no paper in here either.

Why wasn't Jesus born in America?They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

What do you get when you cross Holy Water with castor oil?A religious movement!

The new Vicar was up early one Sunday morning, walkinground his new parish, after leaving his wife in bedwith the Sunday papers, her cup of tea, and a pack ofcigarettes.

A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident.The two were in line to see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.St. Peter asked the lawyer his name and looked it up inhis book.

Noah And Today's ArkThe Lord spoke to Noah and said, "Noah, in six months I am goingto make it rain until the whole world is covered with water andall the evil things are destroyed.

How offensive is that?Jesus has just been nailed to the cross and has begun to suffer from the wounds, A crowd has gathered to watch and sympathize with Him.

There was this hooker who mistook a Salvation Army man fora soldier and propositioned him. The Salvation Army gent said, "Ma'am, you may be forgiven, as a pitiable victim of circumstances.

Love Jesus by Dennis DiPasquale The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumpe

The church was conducting its annual fund drive. One member of the congregation said, "I give ten dollars." Just then, a piece of plaster fell from the ceiling and landed on his head.

Camel Died A nun and a priest are riding a camel through the dessert. After a few days the camel falls over dead.

4 Nuns at a church wanted to watch TV. The first one said she wanted towatch the INDY 500. The second one wanted to watch the sexy Shawn Michelson WWF.

Way down in the deep south, in an area known as the 'Bible Belt,'there lived a Baptist minister with a very large congregation.

Is there a God?A billion Hindus can't be wrong.

A fellow dies, goes to hell, and is surprised whenconfronted by a room full of beautiful blondes andkegs of beer.

There are three religious truths:1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.3.

The priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night.Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the Devil!

What do you give the paedophile who has everything?Another parish

Three Reform Rabbis were in a terrible auto wreck. None survived. One minute they were driving along the highway, talking and laughing and joking, and the next, BOOM!

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'dtake it and throw it into the river."With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I

Nuns First Hot Dog Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies

GIRL'S CONFESSION The priest leaned closer to hear the girl's confession.

Rabbi Stern rides his bike down the road, when a truck careens around =the corner, out of control, and broadsides the Rabbi.Father Flannery watches this event unfold, and as he runs toward the =Rabbi,

What is the meaning of life?All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate.

A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogueacross the street from each other. Since their schedulesintertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car.So they did.

A Friend's PrayerMay the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person whoscrews up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.Amen

Two priests are off to the showers late one night.They undress and step in the showers before theyrealize there is no soap.

What do you call a nun riding piggyback on the hunchback of Notre Dame?

Virgin on the ridiculous.

Stress-Relieving PrayerLord,Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,The courage to change the things I cannot accept,And the wisdom to hide the bodies of those peopleI had to kill t