Little Johnny was in his math's class one day when the teachersingled him out."If I gave you $20," the teacher began," and you gave $5 to Mary,$5 to Sally and $5 to Susan, what would you have?""An org

How to write a paper1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.2.

One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept.

SAT score decayAs we all know SAT scores have been on the decline for years.The following may be the reason why.A math problem in the 60'sA logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.

The little darlings were all in their seats on the first day of school and their new teacher introduced herself. She wrote on the board that her name is Ms.

A case for the Third Universal Cardinal Rule of Thumb: Never be absolute, unless absolutely necessary: A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day.

A unit in sex education was about to begin, and each student had to bring in a permission slip in order to take it.

Teaching The teacher had given the class an assignment.

Mr.

Are You About to Employ a Robot? This test was written by ME, Roger Carasso, for the UCB PsychologyDepartment. It is intended to be used by companies that arerecruiting on campus.

The Unofficial Manual for Graduate Teaching Assistants Teaching Introductory Computer Science Courses for Non-majors LATE HOMEWORK When a student turns in his/her project two weeks late and asks

A college professor in an anatomy class asked his students to sketch a naked man.

Bonkistry Introductory Chemistry at Duke has been taught for about a zillion yearsby Professor Bonk (really), and his course is semi-affectionately knownas "Bonkistry." He has been around fore

A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

What is the difference between a hockey game and a High School reunion? At a hockey game you see fast pucks.

The College Food Chain THE DEANLeaps tall buildings in a single boundIs more powerful than a locomotiveIs faster than a speeding bulletWalks on waterGives policy to GodTHE DEPARTMENT HEADLeaps

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the fem

A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all.

Letter from Daughter to Parents Dear Mother and Dad:It has now been three months since I left for college.

When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation saidshe was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench.

A high school senior was inspecting Harvard University, where he hopedto attend the following autumn.

College by Dave Barry Many of you young persons out there are seriously thinking about going to college.

What does a graduate student with a science degree ask? "Why does it work?"What does a graduate student with an engineering degree ask?

American University Grading Procedures Here is a list of the ways professors here at the AmericanUniversity grade their final exams:DEPT OF STATISTICS: - All grades are plotted along the normal

Should you have any questions during the exam,just raise your hand. This should cause enoughblood to flow to your brain to answer it yourself.

Academy of MudgeologySome selections from our catalog: Course number/Title/(Days/Time)MUS147 HOW TO HUM: LECTURE AND LAB (MW 10:00-10:50)HIS024 U.S.

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female stu

No $Dear Dad,$chool i$ really great.

Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye (or maybe it was Neil McNell from Barra, but anyway..) went to study at an English university and was living in the hall of residence with all the other students

Rabbit's Ph.D.