"Marine biology researchers have developed a new method to fend off shark attacks.

|Theorem: 1$ = 10 centProof:We know that $1 = 100 centsDivide both sides by 100$ 1/100 = 100/100 cents=> $ 1/100 = 1 centTake square root both side=> squr($1/100) = squr (1 cent)=> $ 1/10 = 1 cent Mul

|It is proven that the celebration of birthdays is healthy. Statistics show that those people who celebrate the most birthdays become the oldest. -- S. den Hartog, Ph D.

A Call for More Scientific Truth in Product Warning Labels by Susan Hewitt and Edward Subitzky from the Journal of Irreproducible Results, Vol 36,

If for every rule there is an exception, then we have established that there is an exception to every rule.If we accept "For every rule there is an exception" as a rule, then we must concede that ther

|Theorem: n=n+1Proof:(n+1)^2 = n^2 + 2*n + 1Bring 2n+1 to the left:(n+1)^2 - (2n+1) = n^2Substract n(2n+1) from both sides and factoring, we have:(n+1)^2 - (n+1)(2n+1) = n^2 - n(2n+1)Adding 1/4(2n+1)^

|Hello, this is probably 438-9012, yes, the house of the famous statistician.

Save the Yeasts EVERY TIME A LOAF OF BREAD IS BAKED, APPROXIMATELY 150,000,000 YEASTS ARE

If a tree falls in the forest, and there's noone there to hear it, does it make a sound?Not if it lands on a bunch of pillows.

|Theorem: 1 + 1 = 2Proof:n(2n - 2) = n(2n - 2)n(2n - 2) - n(2n - 2) = 0(n - n)(2n - 2) = 02n(n - n) - 2(n - n) = 02n - 2 = 02n = 2n + n = 2or setting n = 11 + 1 = 2

|. Ten percent of all car thieves are left-handed2. All polar bears are left-handed3. If your car is stolen, there's a 10 percent chance it was taken by a Polar bear1.

Technical Night Before Christmas 'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in e

An academic problemIn a high school gym class, all the girls are lined up against one wall, and all the boys against the opposite wall.

|Theorem: 4 = 5Proof:-20 = -2016 - 36 = 25 - 454^2 - 9*4 = 5^2 - 9*54^2 - 9*4 + 81/4 = 5^2 - 9*5 + 81/4(4 - 9/2)^2 = (5 - 9/2)^24 - 9/2 = 5 - 9/24 = 5

|Two statisticians were travelling in an airplane from LA to New York.

Speaking of spelling, here's a news bulletin ........

What do a meteorologist in a snowstormand a woman's sex life have in common?They're both concerned with how manyinches and how long it will last.

|Theorem: All numbers are equal.Proof: Choose arbitrary a and b, and let t = a + b.

|A mathematician and a non-mathematician are sitting in an airport hall waiting for their flight to go.

scientists Decode the First Message From an AlienCivilization...Simply send 6 x 10 to the 50 atoms of Hydrogen to theStar System at the top of the list, cross off that starsystem, then put your Star S

If you cloned Henry IV, would he be Henry V, or Henry IV Part II?

|Theorem: 1 = -1Proof:1 = sqrt(1) = sqrt(-1 * -1) = sqrt(-1) * sqrt(-1) = 1^ = -1Also one can disprove the axiom that things equal to the same thing are equal to each other.1 = sqrt(1)-1 = sqrt(1)Ther

|1. They speak only the Greek language.2. They usually have long threatening names such as Bonferonni, Tchebycheff, Schatzoff, Hotelling, and Godambe.

New scientific theories4th RunnerUp-- The earth may spin faster on its axis due todeforestation.

DOUBLE VODKA A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodka." The barman says "Wow!

|Theorem: log(-1) = 0Proof:a. log[(-1)^2] = 2 * log(-1)On the other hand:b. log[(-1)^2] = log(1) = 0Combining a) and b) gives:2* log(-1) = 0Divide both sides by 2:log(-1) = 0

|A new government 10 year survey cost $3,000,000,000 revealed that 3/4 of the people in America make up 75% of the population.According to recent surveys, 51% of the people are in the majority.Did you

New scientific theories3rd RunnerUp- Communist China is technologically underdevelopedbecause they have no alphabet.

New scientific theories2nd RunnerUp- The 'Why Yawning Is Contagious' Theory: You yawnto equalize the pressure on your eardrums.

A guy walks into a bar ...