John and Mary were having dinner in a very fine restaurant.

|What do gay guys call hemroids?
Speedbumps

A man and his wife are weeding the garden one day when his wife bends over to pick some more weeds.

Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods on her way to visit her grandmother, when suddenly The Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree."Ah-ha....," The Big Bad Wolf said, "Now I've got

Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age,rather curious.

Great A Hot & Juicy Story Well, I was loafin' around the salad bar at the burger stand one chili day on Coney Island, when I Frito-Lay'd my eyes on the sweetest little tomato I'd ever seen.

10) You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack. 9) If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again. 8) The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

A guest from some foreign country was bragging that in HIScountry there is 79 different ways to make mad passionate love.Ray listened patiently. "That's amazing.

What did the boy with a long tongue and biglips say to his mom as he was masturbating? "look Ma', no hands"

A Girl Scout troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing where a young couple was engaged in oral sex. "Back ladies, back!" cried the leader.

A guy goes to his doctor and says,"Doc, I have a problem.""My girlfriend is sleeping over this Friday, my ex-wife is sleeping over this Saturday and my wife is coming home Sunday.""I need 3 Viagra pil

Back in the good ole days in Texas, when stage coaches and the like werepopular, there were three people in a stage coach one day: a true red blooded born and raised Texas gentleman, a tenderfoot city

Which of the following doesn't belong?(a) meat(b) eggs(c) wife(d) blow job(D) A blowjob because its possible to beat your meat,your eggs or your wife, but you can't beat a blowjob

What did cinderella do when she got to the ball???She choked...

Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton on a recent flight.After the plane was airborne, the flight attendant came around for drinkorders.The President asked for a whisky & soda, which was

A man goes to a doctor and says:"Doctor, it's embarassing, but every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm.""Gee, what are you taking for it?""Snuff."

Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park.

Mongo's old lady decided she wanted t dosomething special to please him on hisbirthday, so she bought a pair of crotchlesspanties.

How do you clean a condom?Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it!

The limousine was taking the beautiful raven-haired model to the airport.Halfway there, the front tire went flat. The model said, "Driver, I don't have time to wait for road service.

Back in the '70s, days of conspicuous (ahem) consumption, Hugh Hefner was showing a friend around the Playboy Mansion.

What's the best thing about a blow job? - The 15 minutes of silence!

In 1993, the University of Kentucky did a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft.

A man leaned toward an attractive woman at a bar and told her, "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?""Yes," she replied in a loud voice, "I'm the receptionist at the V.D. clinic."

An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like ayoung girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man andasks how old he is.

A young boy asked his mother "Ma, is it true that people can be taken apart like machines?" "Of course not, where did you hear such nonsense?" replied by his mother The young boy answered " The other

for you girls...Why is 88 better than 69?You get 8 twice.

An aging hooker volunteered to give the novice a few tips on the art of fellatio. Satisfied that she had perfected the basics, the old pro asked the beginner if she had any questions."Well yeah.

How do you know when your girlfriend is too fat?

When she sits on your face and you can't hear the stereo.

Through the kitchen window a farmer's wife sees herson coming home from school. The boy's in a bad mood,and as he crosses the field he kicks a pig. He walks alittle further and kicks a cow.