Two guys are in a locker room when one guy notices the other guy has acork in his ass.

Paul got off the elevator on the 40th floor and nervouslyknocked on his blind date's door. She opened it and wasas beautiful and charming as everyone had said.

Farmer Petrovich is whipping and slapping his sheep when the localminister comes walking around the corner.The minister says, "My, Farmer Petrovich, you're certainly giving thatsheep a beating.

A cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late oneafternoon by hostile Indians. This presents no problem for thehorse as the Indians can always use another pony.

A man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditch. He doesn't usually help many people so he drives on by. Then he notices that a pretty woman is the driver so he goes back to help.

A young man has always dreamed on owning a Harley Davidson.

A man with a wooden eye was sitting at a bar one night.He glanced across the room and noticed a very attractive woman with just one flaw, she had a very large nose.

An old sailing ship is becalmed at sea with a full complement of sailors. They are stuck there for days and days with nothing to do.

A stuffy matron is with a new man in a top restaurant. The onion soup getsto her, and as the waiter is serving the main dishes she lets loose abombastic fart.

I HAD A BAD DAY It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy.

A guy calls the hospital. He says, "You gotta send help! My wife's goinginto labor!"The nurse says, "Calm down. Is this her first child?"He says, "No! This is her husband!"

Three college roommates -- two females and a male -- beganto argue after dinner about whose turn it was to do the dishes."All right," one of the girls said, "the first one to speak has todo them."The

Girl woke up in the morning after a party and found an Elephant in bedbeside her.She said "I must have been tight last night"The Elephant said "You were the first time but second time was'nt so bad"Se

Consider the following:Female guitar player shouting at her boyfriend in acrowded shopping mall: "Don't forget, sweetheart,I need a new G string!"

A man goes into a bar and sits down to have a drink....he notices thatat the other end of the bar is the most attractive woman he has everseen....he is immediately lust-struck and decides that he must

A man and a woman are on an elevator at the top of theworld's tallest building, when all of a sudden, the cablesnaps and the elevator starts plummeting to the ground.

Oscar was an unlucky sap. Having just spent megabucks on a skydiving class, he dove out of the airplane and pulled the ripcord. The chute emerged, tangled, and he cut it free.

Sitting at home one night with his wife, a man is casually tossing peanuts into the air and catching them in his mouth.

Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are draggingtheir right foot as the walk.

A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.

Two blokes were out walking home from work one afternoon."Shit," said the first bloke, "as soon as I get home, I'm gonna rip thewife's knickers off!""What's the rush?" his mate asked."The bloody elast

A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy named "Clint", and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to Clint, "You going to die.

A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and announced that his wife had just produced a typical Texas baby, weighing a whopping twenty pounds."WOW!" was the response from everyone at the b

A woman walks into a tattoo parlour and asks 'Do you do custom work?''Why of course!''Good.

Imagine you`re in a room with no windows and no doors,how do you get out?Stop imagining!Sent by Cally

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off.

A woman in the labor ward of the general hospital, legs spread wide, lets out a loud yell and out pops a little black head."There was this black guy once" she said to the midwife.

It seems that Abe and Morey, two salesmen for an advertising agency,were traveling together through the midwest, when they were caughtbetween towns during a driving snow storm.The further they went, t

"Hey, Pal", the irate druggist shouted, "Put that cigar outwhile you are in my store!""I bought this cigar here!" claimed the Customer."Big Deal!", said the Druggist. "We sell condoms too."

There was this guy & he had just bought a brand new Farrari F-50 and hewas taking it for a cruise.