Last summer, the President and Mrs. Clinton were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. On a venture one day, they stopped at a service station to fill up the car with gas.

Pilot to tower . . . pilot to tower . . . I am 300 miles from land . . .600 feet over water . . . and running out of fuel . . .please instruct! Tower to pilot . . . tower to pilot . .

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport.

Mueller is traveling with his wife and mother-in-law in a far east country.

This lady who was living in New York City had to get back toher old country but she was broke.One day she wandered down to the docks and spotted a workergetting ready to load supplies onto a boat.

A German tourist walks into a McDonald's in New York City and orders a beer.

1.The "complimentary" paper tells you that President Kennedy has died.2.The mint on the pillow starts moving when you come close to it.

Some men go on a hunting trip and separate into pairs. That evening one hunter, Sam, returned to camp alone toting a 12 point buck.

Tith the sun beginning to rise, the cabin of the jetliner was suddenly illuminated.

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there?It's crowded & dirty and full of Italians.

There was an exhibitionist who was taking a trip on an airplane.At the top of the stairs there was a stewardess collecting tickets.When the man got to the top of the stairs, he opened his coat andexpo

A tourist is visiting New York City when his car breaks down. He jumps out and starts fiddling under the hood.

whats the best way to travel to the moon?transform yourself into a ball and get davidBeckham to take a penalty!

For all of you out there who've had to deal with an irate customer, this oneis for you. It's a classic! In tribute to those 'special' customers we alllove!

Two missionaries in Africa get apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, build a huge fire under it, and leave them there.

What to Do With All Those "Free" Soaps When Travelling This is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of its guests.

A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines fromKansas to Chicago.

Helpful advice for travellers:If you are going to get on a commercial flight, take a bomb with you.BECAUSE: What are the odds of TWO guys being on the SAME PLANE at the SAME TIME with a bomb?

The subway car was packed. It was rush hour, and many people wereforced to stand.

Two retired ladies were on the beach in Miami.They were discussing the fact that if they gofor a swim, someone might steal their cigarettes,but if they take the cigarettes with them, theywill get soak

Steve is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor thathe's worried about getting real seasick.

Radar: "Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."Pilot: "Roger, but we are at 35,000 feet, how much noise can we make up here?"Radar: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 727 makes whe

Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson are hiking.

Thirty minutes before a plane landed, its cabin lights came on,indicating to the flight attendants that breakfast could be served.One of the passengers, upset because he was awakened, growled, "Whotur

66.A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman.

The Zen Master is visiting New York City from Tibet.

From a Southwest Airlines employee...."Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX, to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight.

If you are considering doing some camping this summer, please note the following public serviceannouncement: In Alaska, tourists are warned to wear tiny bells on their clothing when hiking in bearcoun

One day Pablo and Paco are riding through the desert on their horses. As they ride along, Pablo smells something horrible. He stops his horse and turns around.

They now have an Italian airline that flies out of Genoa.It's called Genitalia.Sent by maria