Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Summer Classes for Men

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1

Q: Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver?

A: Because she was a woman!

What is the difference between a light on and a hard on?

You can go to sleep with a light on!

A man comes home from work to find his wife in the bedroom, packing her suitcase. "What the hell are you doing?" he asks. "I'm leavin'' you for a better life," she replies.

Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife.

When should you care for a man's company?When he owns it.

How is a man like a snow fall? -You never know how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

Commercial:Do Seagulls Circle your house?Does your boyfriend sing " The shrimp boats are coming"?Do you make people vomit in the elevator?Try FDS!Feminnine hygene spray!

The media have grotesquely skewed the public image of women who choose to own firearms. Unfortunately, such exposure can affect one's self-image.

|Advice From Men To Women...Never buy a 'new' brand of beer because 'it was on sale.'...If we're in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn't mean we're not watching it....Don't tell anyo

How can you tell soap operas are fictional? - In real life, men aren't affectionate in bed.

Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you've been telling people that I'm ugly!" "Oh NO!

A little boy walks up to his father and says, "Dad, what does a pussy look like?" Father responds, "well son, before or after sex?" Son, "Well, before?" Father, "picture a tulip with all the p

|How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?We don't know - it's never happened.

The Bachelor DietMondayBreakfast - Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday?

What's long and hard and excites a girl whenshe's finally lucky enough to get on it?The road to success!

Age FAVORITE FANTASY 17 tall, dark and handsome 25 tall, dark and handsome with money 35 tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain 48

What a woman says: "This place is a mess C'mon, you and I need to clean up.

Q: Why do men name their penis?A: They like to be on a first name basis with the one making most of theirdecisions.

Some people are sitting in a bar when one guy says, "My name is Larry, and I am a SNAG."Another guy says, "What's that?"The first guy says, "That means I am a Single, New Age Guy."Another one says, "M

How is a woman like an airplane? -Both have cockpits.

As a old man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Rou

If men had PMS, what would happen?a) The federal government would allocate funds to study it.b) Cramps would become an acceptable reason to apply for permanent disability.c) There would be a federal h

Two buddies get together and decide togo to a whorehouse, one of them tired ofdoing it with his wife all the time, theother not having it done for a long time.

Why don't women wear dresses in the winter? - Chapped lips.

ELEMENT: WOMANSYMBOL: WO DISCOVERER: ADAM ATOMIC MASS:Accepted as 53.6 Kg, but known to vary from 40 to 200 Kg.OCCURRENCE:Copious quantities in all urban areas.Physical Properties:1.

One Day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt.

|Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.