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JokeClicks

Woman/Man Jokes

Apples and Wine

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Summer Classes for Men

Summer Classes for Men

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1

Helen Keller driving

Q: Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver?

A: Because she was a woman!

Light on

What is the difference between a light on and a hard on?

You can go to sleep with a light on!

Blow Job

A man comes home from work to find his wife in the bedroom, packing her suitcase. "What the hell are you doing?" he asks. "I'm leavin'' you for a better life," she replies.

Did you hear about Tempura House?

Did you hear about Tempura House?It's a shelter for lightly battered women.

Sewage, Oh no

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor ho

Women seeking men

|"WOMEN SEEKING MEN" Classifieds40-ish means: 48Adventurer means: Has had more partners than you ever willAffectionate means: PossessiveArtist means: UnreliableAverage looking means: You figure this o

THE MASTERCARD COMMERCIAL ALL MEN ARE WAITING FOR

THE MASTERCARD COMMERCIAL ALL MEN ARE WAITING FORCover charge: $15.00 Round of drinks: $23.00 Table dance: $30.00 Another round of drinks: $23.00 Couch dance and tips: $50.00 A round of shots: $34.00

What do you get if you put your hand down an pyschic pants?

What do you get if you put your hand down an pyschic's pants? Your palm red once a month.

women and small feet

Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Christmas tree better

|Reasons Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman" A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past.A Christmas tree doesn't care if you have an artificial one

There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men...

There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men:"don't" and "stop".

The Makers of Viagra are announcing that they have...

The Makers of Viagra are announcing that they havedeveloped a pill to increase lubrication in females. The pill will be called Niagra.

Why did the woman cross the road?

Why did the women cross the road?Well thats not the point what is she doing out of the kitchen?!!!

Did you know that a man is made up of many useless things?

Did you know that a man is made up of many useless things?He has an Adam's apple that isn't an appleTwo calves that will never become cowsA nose bridge that doesn't lead anywhereA roof of the mouth th

Three Things Women Can Do That Men Can't

Three Things Women Can Do That Men Can't:1. Bleed for a week and not die.2. Give milk without eating grass3. Bury an eight inch bone faster than any dog!

One of the life's mysteries is how a two-pound...

One of the life's mysteries is how a two-poundbox of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.

Jessica was toweling off in front of the mirror...

Jessica was toweling off in front of the mirror when she noticed a few gray pubic hairs. She bent down and said to her privates...

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?

Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Should I have a baby after 35?

Should I have a baby after 35?No, 35 children is enough.

A new tax

Department of the Treasury Internal Revenue Service Washington, D.C.

Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?

Q. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra? A. When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.

If Men made the Rules

1. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days. 2.

What do you do if your bank account stops working?

What do you do if your bank account stops working?Throw the guy out of the house.

How is being at the singles bar different from being at the circus?

How is being at the singles bar different from being at the circus?At the circus the clowns don't talk...

What do men have in common with toilet bowls, aniversaries, and clitorises?

What do men have in common with toilet bowls, aniversaries, andclitorises?They miss them all.

What does a woman of 40 have between her breasts that a woman of 20 does not?

What does a woman of 40 have between her breasts that a woman of 20doesn't?A belly-button!

60 Things Not to Say to a Naked Guy

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that. 2. Ahh, it's cute. 3. Who circumcised you? 4. Why don't we just cuddle? 5. You know they have surgery to fix that. 6. It's more fun to look at. 7.

Joke of the Day

The following are acual stories provided by...

The following are acual stories provided by travel agents:

  • I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair
    wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
  • A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going
    over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
  • I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started
    to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when
    she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but
    Cape Town is in Massachusetts. "Without trying to make her look like
    the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape cod is in Massachusetts,
    Cape Town is in Africa." Her response ... click.
  • A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what
    was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an
    ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since
    Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me.
    I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."
  • I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England
    from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the
    map."
  • Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When
    I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in
    Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I
    heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the
    gates to save time."
  • A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible
    that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at
    8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of
    Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones.
    Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!
  • A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical
    description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to who?" I
    said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in
    with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm
    overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a
    minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I came back
    and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline
    was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
  • I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which
    plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he
    replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn
    planes have numbers on them."
  • "A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of
    those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a
    commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."
  • A businessman called and had a question about the documents he
    needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about
    passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been
    to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double-
    checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him
    this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time
    they have accepted my American Express."
  • A woman called to make reservations "I want to go from Chicago to
    Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally,
    the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what
    flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the
    agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport
    code in the country and I can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The
    customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is.
    Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and
    finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew
    it was a big animal!"
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