Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Summer Classes for Men

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1

Q: Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver?

A: Because she was a woman!

What is the difference between a light on and a hard on?

You can go to sleep with a light on!

A man comes home from work to find his wife in the bedroom, packing her suitcase. "What the hell are you doing?" he asks. "I'm leavin'' you for a better life," she replies.

Three women were sitting at a bar having a few drinks.After a while the conversation started turning a littlerude and crass.

NEW ELEMENTS ON THE PERIODIC TABLE Element: WOMAN Symbol: Wo Atomic Weight: 120 (more or less) Physical Properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze anytime.

An 82 year old man marries an 18 year old woman, she becomes pregnant. The 82 year old man goes to the Dr. to see what the DR had to say about the wife being pregnant. The DR.

Being a man definitely has its perks...

1. Your backside is never a factor in a job interview.

2. Your orgasms are real. Always.

3. Your last name stays put.

4. The garage is all yours.

A young girl goes to the gynecologist and he examines her.He says,"You have acute vaginitis."She says "Thank you."

Men say the smartest things when they start the sentence with "A woman once told me..."

The Perfect Day - Her 8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses 9:00 5 lbs lighter on the scale 9:30 Light Breakfast 11:00 Sunbathe 12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe 1:45 Shopping

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine, will never be able to support you.

In the beginning, God created earth and rested.Then God created man and rested.Then God created woman.Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

Why are women such bad drivers?Because there is no road between the bedroom and the bathroom.

Woman goes into a hardware store and asks the clerk for two AA batteries.

What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?You can unscrew a light bulb!

|What is the difference between men and government bonds?Bonds mature!

Whats the difference between pink and purple? Your grip.

Q. Why do men name their penises? A. Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the person whomakes all their decisions.

Chase is very pleased to announce that we are installing newDrive-thru ATMs where customers will be able withdraw cashwithout leaving their vehicle.

What is a macho man?After getting a blow job, he asks the woman,'Was it as good for you, as it was for me?'

Age Line17 My parents are away for the weekend.25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend.35 My fiancee is away for the weekend.48 My wife is away for the weekend

What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?A rumor

At a Texas University, a Professor had been teaching his students humanreproduction.

|Differences Between Men & Women NICKNAMES: If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle.

A guy says, "I remember the first time I used alcohol as a substitute for women.""Yeah what happened?" asked the other.The first guy replies, "Well, I got my penis stuck in the neck of the bottle."

Should I have a baby after 35?No, 35 children is enough.

Q. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra? A. When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.