Here is a little something someone sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic.

Chairman H
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:

A Cincinnati firefighter was arrested after he was found drunk wearing a woman's blond wig and bikini in a public park.

knows how to make love a million different ways, but doesn't know any women!

As the end of the day drew near, the handsome executive called his newly hired red-headed assistant into his office.

|A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression.

A man comes home from work one day and he says to his wife: "Honey, I got a new secretary. And imagine what happened! She's got a red and white bra.

|Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay for his daughter's college education?As the policeman, who also had a daughter in college, was leading him away

A man goes to his bank manager and says "I'd like to start a small business how do I go about it?"The bank manager leans back and clasps his hands together on his gut and replies "Buy a big one and wa

Use computers to look busy. Any time you use a computer,it looks like "work" to the casual observer.

A truck driver who had been delivering radioactive waste for the local reactor begins to feel sick after a few years on the job. He decided to seek compensation for his ailment.

****************CHRISTMAS PARTY*************************
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 1
RE: Christmas Party

A middle manager is called into his bosses office on a Monday morning.He is told he has to get rid of one employee in his department by thenext Monday. "Downsizing."He's really upset.

|Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin.

|Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk 15. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen." 14.

|If you do some acrobatics with a little mathematics it will take you far along.

|TO: ALL PERSONNELFROM: ACCOUNTING It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time" (Code 5309).

|USEFUL PHRASES AT WORK:I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

|When I take a long time, I am slow.When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.When I don't do it, I am lazy.When my boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.When I do it without being told, I'm trying t

Does anyone know what would happen if the earth rotated 30 times faster thanit does today ??We would get our paycheck everyday, and all women would bleed to death...

|How to Make a Telemarketer Go Away1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Ask, "How long can I keep it?

A guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products.At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottlenipples. The machine makes a loud "hiss-pop" noise.

|An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel.

The Perverse Guide To Getting HiredChapter 1 - The Resume Your resume is a crucial document that summarises theessence of your being to a potential employer.

Messy desk. Top management can get away with a cleandesk. For the rest of us, it looks like you're not workinghard enough. Build huge piles of documents around yourworkspace.

Job Applicant: "I'm looking for a job as a consultant."Employer: "I'm sorry, we already have enough cosultants."Applicant: "That's ok, with my experience, I can be an advisor."Employer: "More tha

Two executives working in the garment center are having lunch together.

Things That Sound Dirty At The Office But Aren't I need you to whip it out by 5:00! Mind if I use your laptop? Put this in my box before you leave. I want it on my desk now! Hmm..

|Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office.

|A party of economists was climbing in the Alps . After several hours they became hopelessly lost.

|So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work.