Here is a little something someone sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic.

Chairman H
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:

A Cincinnati firefighter was arrested after he was found drunk wearing a woman's blond wig and bikini in a public park.

knows how to make love a million different ways, but doesn't know any women!

|The stockbroker received notice from the IRS that he was being audited.

A man walks up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair smells nice.

A well respected Doctor and his wife were having drinks in the lobby of the theater during the opening nite of a musical duringintermission.

Creative Sighing for Effect. Sigh loudly when there aremany people around, giving the impression that you arevery hard pressed.

Rejection Letter RejectEver wonder what to do when those rejection letters start pilingup?

A lumberjack new to the job had trouble meeting his quota.

Bank Teller A middle aged man walks into the bank and says to the young teller, "I want to open a fucking checking account".

|1. Not spending enough quality time with the kitchen applicances.2. Came dressed in only a towel...again.3. Ran out of paper clips.4. I've decided to telecommute.5.

Steve, Bob and Jeff are working on a very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls off. He is killed instantaneously.

|Two hobbyists get into their balloon for an excursion. After a while, the wind unexpectedly picks up, and the balloon goes out of control.

As a result of an internal investigation, one of the Duty Officer's stunning, blonde staffers was transferred to an obscure base in Utah.The woman reported to her new Commanding Officer and handed him

|Two government economists were returning home from a field meeting.

|These are taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in Fortune Magazine:1. I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.2.

|How careers end... Lawyers are disbarred. Ministers are defrocked. Electricians are delighted. Far Eastern diplomats are disoriented. Drunks are distilled. Alpine climbers are dismounted.

|An accountant dies and goes to Heaven. He reaches the pearly gates and is amazed to see a happy crowd all waving banners and chanting his name.After a few minutes St.

Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?A: We've formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burnout, and figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make th

Returning from her vacation, the young secretary was telling anyone who would listen about what a fun time she had. She then asked for two weeks leave in which to get married.

Stacking Strategy. It is not enough to pile lots ofdocuments on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. .Can always borrow from library. Thick computer manuals are the best.

Retire Aged Personell EarlyTO ALL MCCCD EMPLOYEESFROM GOVERNING BOREDDATE 22 APR 19861.

A young man walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, I hate drawing welfare. I would really rather find a job.

The crusty old managing partner finally passed away, but his law firm kept receiving calls asking to speak with him. "I'm sorry, he's dead," was the standard answer.

|1. Act out your version of a company takeover.2. Find a way to change everyone's password to "chrysanthemum".3. Around 3:20am, play connect-the-dots with lights still on in other office buildings.

Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office. "What is the meaning of this?" the director asked.

|Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end.

What does it mean when the flag at thePost Office is flying at half mast? They're hiring.

|"Two policemen are considering the problem of catching the bandit. One of them starts to calculate the optimal mixed strategy for the chase. The other policeman protests.

|Job Interview Quotations Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees.A job