Q: What do you call a sick German Shepherd?

A: A Germy-Shepherd!

How To Give Your Cat a Pill 1. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbows, just as if you were giving a baby a bottle.

What does the snail say when he gets on the turtle?"Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!"

The UN sponsored a competition on which nation can produce the best bookon elephants.The British submited a dry historical account "The Elephant and the British Empire."The French submited a text "

A woman went to a podiatrist complaining that her feet always hurt.He immediately noticed that she was extremely bowlegged."Have you always been that way?" asked the podiatrist."No," she said, not unt

A blind man is standing at the corner with his seeing eye dog waiting to cross the street, when his pooch lifts his leg and pisses down the side of his nice herringbone tweed trousers.

A little turtle begins to climb a tree slowly.

You know why a dog licks his ass?Because he knows in five minutes he'll be licking your face.

What did one Lesbian Frog say to the other? Gee, we really do taste like chicken.

Why did the raccoon cross the road? He didn't, he got hit by a car.

A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker barin the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err,which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outsideto the parking meter?"A giant of a man, we

What do you get if you sleep under a cow?A PAT on the head.Sent by Jimmy

In the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. He was ahot, dry fly who said to no one in particular, "Gosh!

|Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness.The first says, "I'm so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of rat poison!"The second says, "Well I'm so tough, once

|A burglar has just made it into the house he's intending ransacking, and he's looking around for stuff to steal.

What are 3 problems about being an egg?You only get laid once, the only woman to sit on your faceis your mother, and it takes 4 minutes to get hard.

|Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard. For one whole year Bill ignores the dog.

Two goldfish are in a tank.One said to the other:'Do you know how to drive this thing?'Sent by Claire

It's a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless w/straps.

There was a gorilla sitting in a tree by a river, when a lioncame by for a cool drink.

Top 15 Household Pet Dishes15> Angelfish Cake14> Hamster and Cheese on Rye13> Chow Chow Mein12> Bran Muffy11> Eggs BenjiDict10> Yorkieshire pudding 9> Shih-Tzu Kabobs 8> Potbelly Pig in a Blanket 7> S

Why does a dog lick his balls? Because he can't make a fist.

One night a man heard howls coming from his basement and went down to discover a female cat being raped by a mouse.

Two eagles are soaring along when suddenly a passenger jet screams past them.One eagle says to the other, "Wow, did you see how fast that thing was moving?" The other replies, "Yeah.

A man tried to sell his neighbour a new dog. "This is a talking dog," hesaid. "And you can have him for five dollars." The neighbour said, "Who doyou think you're kidding with this talking dog stuff?

What is the difference between a dog and a fox? Eight beers.

A blind man was out walking with his seeing eye dog when suddenly the animal paused and wet the man's leg.

There were two bulls, a young one named George and an old one named Sam.It was that time of year to satisfy the local female population, andyoung George was pretty excited."Sam, Sam, can I go down to

What does an elephant keep up its trunk?A Yard 'n' half o' snot!

A double whammy:Why do elephants paint thier testicles red?So they can hide in cherry trees.What's the loudest noise in the jungle?A Monkey eating cherries.