Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time ?
Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them.

Why doesn't Santa have any children ?
Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

How are a Christmas tree and a priest alike ?
They both have ornamental balls.

What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve ?
They go into town, and blow a few bucks.

What's the difference between snowmen and snowladies?
Snowballs.