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JokeClicks

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary...

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:* I do physical labour* I work at great depths* I am always using my head first* I do not get RDO''s, weekends off or public holidays* I work in a damp environment* I don''t get paid overtime or shift penalties* I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation* I work in high temperatures* My work exposes me to contagious diseasesResponse from Human ResourcesAfter assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:* You do not work 8 hours straight* You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods* You do not always follow the orders of the management team* You do not stay in your assigned position, and often visit other areas* You take a lot of non-rostered breaks* You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working* You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift* You don''t always observe OH&S measures, such as wearing the correct protective outfits* You don''t like working double shifts* You sometimes leave your assigned position before you have completed your work* And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the work place carrying 2 suspicious looking bags!

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Joke of the Day

Looking to buy a frog?

|A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music.While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money."Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $500,000!" "Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."

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