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JokeClicks

New Words Needed (woo-hoo!)

10 Words That Don't Exist, But Should:1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathroom faucet on and off with your toes.2. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs.4. ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater (airplane).5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keep backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man guy lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.7. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.8 PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.9. PUPKUS (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.10.TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

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Joke of the Day

Interolrable Weather and Sterotypes.

Degrees (Fahrenheit)* 65 degrees:Hawaiians declare a two-blanket night* 60 degrees:Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)* 50 degrees:Miami residents turn on the heat* 45 degrees:Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts* 40 degrees:You can see your breathCalifornians shiver uncontrollablyMinnesotans go swimming* 35 degrees:Italian cars don't start* 32 degrees:Water freezes* 30 degrees:You plan your vacation to Australia* 25 degrees:Ohio water freezesCalifornians weep pitiablyMinnesotans eat ice creamCanadians go swimming* 20 degrees:Politicians begin to talk about the homelessNew York City water freezesMiami residents plan vacation further South* 15 degrees:French cars don't startCat insists on sleeping in your bed with you* 10 degrees:You need jumper cables to get the car going* 5 degrees:American cars don't start* 0 degrees:Alaskans put on T-shirts* -10 degrees:German cars don't startEyes freeze shut when you blink* -15 degrees:You can cut your breath and use it to build an iglooArkansans stick tongue on metal objectsMiami residents cease to exist* -20 degrees:Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with youPoliticians actually do something about the homelessMinnesotans shovel snow off roofJapanese cars don't start* -25 degrees:Too cold to thinkYou need jumper cables to get the driver going* -30 degrees:You plan a two week hot bathSwedish cars don't start* -40 degrees:Californians disappearMinnesotans button top buttonCanadians put on sweatersYour cat helps you plan your trip South* -50 degrees:Congressional hot air freezesAlaskans close the bathroom window* -80 degrees:Hell freezes overPolar bears move SouthViking Fans order hot cocoa at the game* -90 degrees:Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets!

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