NOTICE OF INCREASE IN TAX PAYMENT
TO: All Male Taxpayers
Internal Revenue Service
Effective: January 01, 2003
Gentlemen:
The only thing the Internal Revenue has not taxed is you Pecker. Mainly because 98% of the time your pecker is out of work, and the other 2% it is in the hole. Moreover, it has two dependents, who are both nuts.
Accordingly, beginning January 01, 2003, your pecker will be taxed according to its size, using the Pecker-Checker Chart listed below to determine your category. Please insert this information on page 2, Section F, Line 3 of your standard 1410-1040 Income Tax Form.
Very tuly yours,
Internal Revenue Service
10 to 12 inches ** ...............Luxury Tax...............$450.00
8 to 12 inches...................Pole Tax.................$200.00
6 to 8 inches...................Privilege Tax............$100.00
4 to 6 inches * ................Nuisance Tax.............$ 50.00
Notes:
* Anyone under four inches is eligible for a refund. Please do not request an extension.
** Males that exceed 12 inches should file under Capital Gains.
cc: Ways and Means Committee
President of the United States