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JokeClicks

Pondering old age

|How do I know that my youth is all spent?Well, my get up and go has got up and went.But in spite of it all I am able to grinwhen I recall where my get up has been.Old age is golden-so I've heard it said-but sometimes I wonder when I get into bed,with my ears in a drawer and my teeth in a cup,my eyes on the table until I wake up.Ere sleep dims my eyes I say to myself,"Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?"And I'm happy to say as I close my door,my friends are the same, perhaps even more.When I was young, my slippers were red,I could pick up my heels right over my head.When I grew older, my slippers were blue,but still I could dance the whole night through.But now I am old, my slippers are black,I walk to the store and puff my way back.The reason I know my youth is all spent,my get up and go has got up and went.But I really don't mind when I think, with a grin,of all the grand places my get up has been.Since I have retired from life's competition,I accommodate myself with complete repetition.I get up each morning, and dust off my wits,pick up my paper and read the "obits".If my name is missing, I know I'm not dead,so I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed

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Joke of the Day

Love Jesus

Love Jesus by Dennis DiPasquale The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed. I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY love the lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and yelled, "Jesus Christ!!" as loud as he could. It was like a football game with him shouting, "GO JESUS CHRIST,GO!!!" Everyone else started honking, too, so I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all of those loving people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach, and saw him waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my two kids what that meant. They kind of squirmed, looked at each other, giggled and told me that it was the Hawaiian good luck sign. So, I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. Several cars behind, a very nice black man stepped out of his car and yelled something. I couldn't hear him very well, but it sounded like, "Mother trucker," or "Mother's from there." Maybe he was from Florida, too. He must really love the lord. A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and were walking toward me. I bet they wanted to pray, but just then I noticed that the light had changed, and stepped on the gas. And a good thing I did, because I was the only driver to get across the intersection. I looked back at them standing there. I leaned way out the window, gave them a big smile and held up the Hawaiian good luck sign, as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks.

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