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JokeClicks

Questions and Answers from an AARP Forum

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?

A: Try a bookstore... under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?

A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done, you will have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?

A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt."

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?

A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly... wrinkles?

A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?

A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.

Q : Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?

A: Storing memory is not a problem. Retrieving it is a problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?

A : Yes. But usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60+ year olds look for eye glasses?

A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?

A: "Gosh! I remember these."

Smile, you still have your sense of humor,... right?

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Joke of the Day

Subject: TOP TEN ECONOMIST VALENTINES 10. YOU...

Subject: TOP TEN ECONOMIST VALENTINES

10. YOU RAISE MY INTEREST RATE THIRTY BASIS POINTS WITHOUT A CORRESPONDING DROPOFF IN CONSUMER ENTHUSIASM
9. DESPITE A DECADE OF INFLATION, I STILL DIG YOUR SUPPLY CURVE
8. WHAT DO YOU SAY WE REMEASURE OUR CROSS-ELASTICITY
7. YOU BRING THE BUTTER, I'LL BRING THE GUN
6. LET'S RAISE HOUSING STARTS TOGETHER
5. FURTHER STIMULUS COULD RESULT IN UNCONTROLLED EXPANSION
4. TELL ME WHETHER MY EXPECTATIONS ARE RATIONAL
3. LET'S ASSUME A RITZY HOTEL ROOM AND A BOTTLE OF DOM
2. YOU STOKE THE ANIMAL SPIRITS OF MY MARKET
1. A LOAF OF BREAD, A JUG OF WINE, AND THOU BESIDE ME WATCHING RUKEYSER

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