The state legislature in California is considering a bill that would allow electronic advertisements on license plates.

|A fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a guaranteed weight loss program.

Two old men were fishing off a bridge as they had done daily for many years. Suddenly a funeral procession came down the road.

Attempt to take the order-takers order.("Hi, may I take your order?") before they get a chance to take yours.Order confusing items, i.e.,"Hi, I'll have a large orange Coke and asmall medium fries, ple

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?Why are there flotation devices

A fellow went to the doctor one day and said, "Doc, I have a problem. My penis is red."Doctor replied, "Drop your pants, let me take a look.

[To the tune of "American Pie"] A long, long, time ago I can still remember when I dialed up their help desk lines.

A man can actually cater to a woman's every need, so long as all that she wants is to have sex, go to ball games, and bring him a beer.

Something to ponder... Do the workers at the Lipton factory get acoffee break?

The flight was coming into Dallas when a combination of mechanical errors and unstable weather caused the plane to start plummeting to the ground!

A man walks into a pharmacy and goes to the counter. Standing behind the counter is a young woman."May I speak to the pharmacist?" he asks.

How do you confuse a woman?? Give her a choice!!

Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop.When a bus pulls up and opens the door, one of the blondes leans inside and asks the bus driver: "Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?"The bus driver shakes his h

Stallone, Tony Danza ,and Arnold Swarzanagger are all going to be in a musical about famous composers.Stallone wants to be Mozart, Danza says he'll be Bethoven, and Swarzanagger says "I'll be Bach!"

Q. How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.

A little black boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face.

A man was walking across the road when he had an accident. The impact was on his head which caused him to be comatose for two days before he finally regained consciousness.

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earings? A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?

Q: Why aren't there many blonde gymnasts?A: Because when they do the splits, they stick to the floor.

An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution."You need to be careful about trying these techniques at home.""Why?" asked somebody from the audience."I watched my wife's routine at

A new arrival in Hell was brought before the devil.

Don't try to understand the theory of relativity.Relativity is like an erection - the more you think about it, the harder it gets.

Do Or Say If You Wake Up To Your Roommate Having Sex50. (the obvious) "Ooooooo"49. "That would work better the other way around. ."48. Sniff. Sniff. "Is something burning?"47.

Mommy,mommy:can I play with grandma? Shut up kid, you dug her up twice last weeek! mommy,mommy:I hate daddyis guts.

Two Marines boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston.One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat.Just before take-off, an Army soldier got on and took the aisl

There was an elderly couple that was on their way for a 2 week vacation on a carribean cruise.

You Might Be A College Student:If you average 3 hours of sleep a nightIf your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn'tIf you go to Wal-Mart more than 3 times a weekIf you are personally keepin

An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Polak were captured by the Germans and thrown into prison.

A man goes to his doctor and says, "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used to be, what should I do?" The doctor replies, "Try this test to find out for sure.

There once was a successful rancher who died and left everything to his devoted wife.