Three guys are in a Cessna. The first drops a penny out the window. The second drops a pencil and the third a bomb. When the plane lands, the first guy goes to see where the penny landed.

Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are draggingtheir right foot as the walk.

A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.

A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated sideby side on an airplane.

Two blokes were out walking home from work one afternoon."Shit," said the first bloke, "as soon as I get home, I'm gonna rip thewife's knickers off!""What's the rush?" his mate asked."The bloody elast

A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy named "Clint", and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to Clint, "You going to die.

A woman enters a butcher shop and asks the counter assistant,"Do you have pigs ears?"The counter assistant replies,"No, its just the way my hair is parted!"

A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and announced that his wife had just produced a typical Texas baby, weighing a whopping twenty pounds."WOW!" was the response from everyone at the b

A woman walks into a tattoo parlour and asks 'Do you do custom work?''Why of course!''Good.

A man goes into a bar and sits down to have a drink....he notices thatat the other end of the bar is the most attractive woman he has everseen....he is immediately lust-struck and decides that he must

A man and a woman are on an elevator at the top of theworld's tallest building, when all of a sudden, the cablesnaps and the elevator starts plummeting to the ground.

Oscar was an unlucky sap. Having just spent megabucks on a skydiving class, he dove out of the airplane and pulled the ripcord. The chute emerged, tangled, and he cut it free.

Sitting at home one night with his wife, a man is casually tossing peanuts into the air and catching them in his mouth.

Mister Smith rushes into the maternity ward, "What's wrong?What's the emergency?""Oh, Mister Smith, your child was just born and I have someterrible news for you.

"What happened?" asked the hospital visitor of the heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed."Well, I went down to Margate at the weekend and decided to take a ride on the roller coaster.

A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber's chair and said, "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine." The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautifu

The dentist was called away from the dinner table to take an urgent phone call. It was Mr.

This bloke was ordered from the pool for pissing in the water."That's ridiculous!" he shouted at the pool manager.

The Barber Shop This guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About 2 hours." The guy leaves.

Just after Lorenna Bobbitt brutally cut off her husband's penis, she jumped into her car and sped away.

The other day my house caught fire. The insurance agent said, "Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?" I said, "Fire and theft."Insurance agent frowned. "Uh oh. Wrong kind.

A man walked into the bar and there was a gorillasitting on a barstool.The man asked the bartender what the gorilla wasdoing in the bar so the bartender showed him.

A woman in the labor ward of the general hospital, legs spread wide, lets out a loud yell and out pops a little black head."There was this black guy once" she said to the midwife.

It seems that Abe and Morey, two salesmen for an advertising agency,were traveling together through the midwest, when they were caughtbetween towns during a driving snow storm.The further they went, t

"Hey, Pal", the irate druggist shouted, "Put that cigar outwhile you are in my store!""I bought this cigar here!" claimed the Customer."Big Deal!", said the Druggist. "We sell condoms too."

There was this guy & he had just bought a brand new Farrari F-50 and hewas taking it for a cruise.

An Avon lady was along in an elevator when she suddenly hadto fart.

A famous hypnotist was performing in a large auditorium full of students onenight. He began to speak in a soft and steady voice over the loud-speakersystem.

On a very cold winter night, three homeless men huddled up close to keep warm.

A middle aged man, about 5 foot 8 inches tall, walks into a Walmartand asks where the pharmacy counter is.