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JokeClicks

The Hat

The Hat An elderly man was quite unhappy because he had lost his favorite hat. Instead of buying a new one, he decided he would go to church and swipe one out of the vestibule. When he got there, an usher intercepted him at the door and took him to a pew where he had to sit and listen to the entiresermon on "The Ten Commandments." After church, the man met the preacher in the vestibule doorway, shook his had vigorously, and told him "I want to thank you preacher for saving my soul today. I came to church to steal a hat and after hearing your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided against it." Preacher: "You mean the commandment 'I shall not steal' changed your mind?" Old Man: "No, the one about adultery did. As soon as you said that I remember where I left my old hat!"

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Joke of the Day

Interolrable Weather and Sterotypes.

Degrees (Fahrenheit)* 65 degrees:Hawaiians declare a two-blanket night* 60 degrees:Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)* 50 degrees:Miami residents turn on the heat* 45 degrees:Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts* 40 degrees:You can see your breathCalifornians shiver uncontrollablyMinnesotans go swimming* 35 degrees:Italian cars don't start* 32 degrees:Water freezes* 30 degrees:You plan your vacation to Australia* 25 degrees:Ohio water freezesCalifornians weep pitiablyMinnesotans eat ice creamCanadians go swimming* 20 degrees:Politicians begin to talk about the homelessNew York City water freezesMiami residents plan vacation further South* 15 degrees:French cars don't startCat insists on sleeping in your bed with you* 10 degrees:You need jumper cables to get the car going* 5 degrees:American cars don't start* 0 degrees:Alaskans put on T-shirts* -10 degrees:German cars don't startEyes freeze shut when you blink* -15 degrees:You can cut your breath and use it to build an iglooArkansans stick tongue on metal objectsMiami residents cease to exist* -20 degrees:Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with youPoliticians actually do something about the homelessMinnesotans shovel snow off roofJapanese cars don't start* -25 degrees:Too cold to thinkYou need jumper cables to get the driver going* -30 degrees:You plan a two week hot bathSwedish cars don't start* -40 degrees:Californians disappearMinnesotans button top buttonCanadians put on sweatersYour cat helps you plan your trip South* -50 degrees:Congressional hot air freezesAlaskans close the bathroom window* -80 degrees:Hell freezes overPolar bears move SouthViking Fans order hot cocoa at the game* -90 degrees:Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets!

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