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JokeClicks

The Mortitian arrived at the Mortuary one morning...

The Mortitian arrived at the Mortuary one morning and wasaproached by his assistant."Anything interesting happen over-night", asked the mortitian."Yes", replied the assistant, "The most gorgeous 18 year-oldblond came in last night. Dead of course""What was the cause of death", enquired the mortition."I'm not sure",replied the assistant. "But she's got a Prawnstuck up her cunt!""Are you sure?", said the Mortitian."Yes, come and have a look for yourself" ,said the assistantopening the body bag.The mortitian closely examined the beautifuly trimmed snatch."That's not a prawn you stupid wanker", he responded, "That'sher clitoris""Are you sure?", said the assisitant,"'Cuz it certainly tasted like a prawn".

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Stupid Funny Quotes

"Things are more like they are now than they have ever been." --President Gerald Ford "My fellow astronauts..."--Vice-President Dan Quayle, beginning a speech at an Apollo 11 anniversary celebration. "Capital punishment is our society's recognition of the sanctity of human life."--Orrin Hatch, Senator from Utah, explaining his support of the death penalty. "China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."--Charles de Gaulle, ex-French President "I stand by all the misstatements."--Dan Quayle, defending himself against criticism for making verbal gaffes "Gerald Ford was a Communist"--Ronald Reagan in a speech. He later indicated he meant to say 'Congressman'. "Outside of the killings, Washington D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington D.C. "We found the term 'killing' too broad."--State Department spokesperson on why the word 'killing' was replaced with 'unlawful or arbitrary deprivation of life' in its human rights reports for 1984-5 "This is a great day for France!"--President Richard Nixon while attending Charles De Gaulle's funeral "This is the worst disaster in California since I was elected."--California Governor Pat Brown, discussing a local flood "It's not listed in the Bible, but my spiritual gift, my specific calling from God, is to be a television talkshow host."--James Baker, televangelist. "The chairs in the cabin are for the ladies. Gentlemen are not to make use of them till the ladies are seated."--Instructions posted in a river cruise ship, Suir River, Ireland. "The exports include thumbscrews and cattle prods, just routine items for the police."--U.S. Commerce Department spokesman on a regulation allowing the export of various products abroad. "What he does on his own time is up to him."--Harlon Copeland, Sheriff of Bexar County, Texas, when one of his deputies was caught exposing himself to a child. "Facts are stupid things."--Ronald Reagan, misquoting John Adams in a speech to the Republican convention.

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