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JokeClicks

Top 15 Good Things About a Cold Winter

Top 15 Good Things About a Cold Winter...The melodious clanging Anna Nicole Smith's breasts make when she walks.BATF calls off its siege of your heavily fortified compound when agents run out of hot cocoa.Much easier to locate nipples during foreplay.Finally, a chance to say, "Yeah, but it's a dry cold."Natural refrigeration keeps vagrants crisp and fresh until Spring.You can chill your malt liquor on the window ledge at work.Joy of frostbite makes it easier to rid your self of those troublesome extremities.No news clips of the President jogging for at least 8 more weeks.Watching O.J. enviously eye everyone else's toasty-warm glove-clad hands.Flashers stick to describing themselves.Spouse temporarily stops using back seat of car for elicit affairs.When it's 10 below, nobody gives a rat's ass whether Internet Explorer is better than Netscape.With multiple layers, people with buns of steel look exactly like people with buns of cinnamon.The shivering just makes your Katherine Hepburn impersonation that much better, you old poop!and the Number 1 Good Thing About a Cold Winter...Goodbye, runny nose. Hello, Snotcicles!

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Joke of the Day

Centipede

One day the big animals and the little animals decided to have a football game. As the first half went along, the big animals were scoring at will. Every time they got the ball they would run it in for a touchdown.Then came the second half...First play: The elephant runs the ball up the middle. WAP!! Tackled for a five yard loss.The little animals go back to the huddle cheering and congratulating each other."Who made that tackle?" asked the ant."I did," said the centipede.Second play: The rhinoceros runs the ball up the middle. WHOMP!! Tackled for another five yard loss.Back in the huddle the flea asked, "Who made that great stop?" "I did," said the centipede.Third play: The gorilla tries an end sweep, led by the hippo throwing the lead blocks. SMACK!! Centipede tackles him for a ten yard loss.Back in the huddle, the gnat asked the centipede, "Where were you in the first half?"The centipede replied, "Puttin' on my shoes!"

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