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JokeClicks

Vocal jokes

|Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door?A: He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and an All-Pro offensive lineman?A: Stage makeup.Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?A: One. He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him.Q: What is the difference between a soprano and a Porsche?A: Most musicians have never been inside a Porsche.Q: Did you hear about the female opera singer who had quite a range at the lower end of the scale.A: She was known as the deep C diva.Q: What is the missing link between the bass and the ape?A: The baritone.Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a Wagnerian Tenor?A: About 10 pounds.Q: How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid?A: When the other tenors notice.Ever hear the one about the tenor who was so off-key that even the other tenors could tell?Q: How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?A: Six. One to do it, and five to say, "It's too high for him."Q: What's the inscription on dead blues-singers tombstones?A: "I didn't wake up this morning..."Person 1: It must be terrible for an opera singer to realize that he can never sing again.Person 2: Yes, but it's much more terrible if he doesn't realize it.Q: Dad, why do the singers rock left and right while performing on stage?A: Because, son, it is more difficult to hit a moving target.Q: Mom, why do you always stand by the window when I practice for my singing lessons?A: I don't want the neighbours to think I'm employing corporal punishment, dear.Q: How many altos does it take to change a light bulb?A: None. They can't get up that high.Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?A: None. Get the drummer to do it.Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

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Joke of the Day

Subject: TOP TEN ECONOMIST VALENTINES 10. YOU...

Subject: TOP TEN ECONOMIST VALENTINES

10. YOU RAISE MY INTEREST RATE THIRTY BASIS POINTS WITHOUT A CORRESPONDING DROPOFF IN CONSUMER ENTHUSIASM
9. DESPITE A DECADE OF INFLATION, I STILL DIG YOUR SUPPLY CURVE
8. WHAT DO YOU SAY WE REMEASURE OUR CROSS-ELASTICITY
7. YOU BRING THE BUTTER, I'LL BRING THE GUN
6. LET'S RAISE HOUSING STARTS TOGETHER
5. FURTHER STIMULUS COULD RESULT IN UNCONTROLLED EXPANSION
4. TELL ME WHETHER MY EXPECTATIONS ARE RATIONAL
3. LET'S ASSUME A RITZY HOTEL ROOM AND A BOTTLE OF DOM
2. YOU STOKE THE ANIMAL SPIRITS OF MY MARKET
1. A LOAF OF BREAD, A JUG OF WINE, AND THOU BESIDE ME WATCHING RUKEYSER

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