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JokeClicks

Women Bashing (oh-oh)

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None. Let the wife cook in the dark.A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up your things! I just won the California lottery!" Martha replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?" The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle.Why do men like air-headed women? Opposites attract.If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie?Most accidents happen at home. And the men have to eat them!How do you blind a woman? Put a windshield in front of her face.How many men does it take to mop a floor? None. It's a woman's job.A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.Don't be sexist. Broads hate that!Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman!How many women does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.Why did the woman cross the road? Who cares! What was she doing out of the kitchen or the bedroom ???What do you do if your dishwasher stops working? Marry a new one !!How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't...there's a clock on the oven!

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Joke of the Day

Interolrable Weather and Sterotypes.

Degrees (Fahrenheit)* 65 degrees:Hawaiians declare a two-blanket night* 60 degrees:Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)* 50 degrees:Miami residents turn on the heat* 45 degrees:Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts* 40 degrees:You can see your breathCalifornians shiver uncontrollablyMinnesotans go swimming* 35 degrees:Italian cars don't start* 32 degrees:Water freezes* 30 degrees:You plan your vacation to Australia* 25 degrees:Ohio water freezesCalifornians weep pitiablyMinnesotans eat ice creamCanadians go swimming* 20 degrees:Politicians begin to talk about the homelessNew York City water freezesMiami residents plan vacation further South* 15 degrees:French cars don't startCat insists on sleeping in your bed with you* 10 degrees:You need jumper cables to get the car going* 5 degrees:American cars don't start* 0 degrees:Alaskans put on T-shirts* -10 degrees:German cars don't startEyes freeze shut when you blink* -15 degrees:You can cut your breath and use it to build an iglooArkansans stick tongue on metal objectsMiami residents cease to exist* -20 degrees:Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with youPoliticians actually do something about the homelessMinnesotans shovel snow off roofJapanese cars don't start* -25 degrees:Too cold to thinkYou need jumper cables to get the driver going* -30 degrees:You plan a two week hot bathSwedish cars don't start* -40 degrees:Californians disappearMinnesotans button top buttonCanadians put on sweatersYour cat helps you plan your trip South* -50 degrees:Congressional hot air freezesAlaskans close the bathroom window* -80 degrees:Hell freezes overPolar bears move SouthViking Fans order hot cocoa at the game* -90 degrees:Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets!

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