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JokeClicks

You know you are an Internet Junkie when... -...

You know you are an Internet Junkie when...

- When asked for your address, your answer begins with http://
- Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.
- You chat with your fingers, not your mouth.
- You use Netscape 4.72, and you check every week whether version 4.73 was released.
- You know the difference between Java and Javascript.
- Most of your friends have an @ in their names.
- In order to watch CNN you move to www.cnn.com
- On your business card the e-mail appears before the phone number.
- You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com
- You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
- You can perfectly imitate the sound pattern of your modem connecting to your ISP.
- You can think of nineteen keystroke symbols that are far more clever than :-).
- You are told about a new program, and you are disappointed to find that it is a TV program.
- Not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your network address faster than your postal one.
- You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

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Joke of the Day

Stupid Funny Quotes

"Things are more like they are now than they have ever been." --President Gerald Ford "My fellow astronauts..."--Vice-President Dan Quayle, beginning a speech at an Apollo 11 anniversary celebration. "Capital punishment is our society's recognition of the sanctity of human life."--Orrin Hatch, Senator from Utah, explaining his support of the death penalty. "China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."--Charles de Gaulle, ex-French President "I stand by all the misstatements."--Dan Quayle, defending himself against criticism for making verbal gaffes "Gerald Ford was a Communist"--Ronald Reagan in a speech. He later indicated he meant to say 'Congressman'. "Outside of the killings, Washington D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington D.C. "We found the term 'killing' too broad."--State Department spokesperson on why the word 'killing' was replaced with 'unlawful or arbitrary deprivation of life' in its human rights reports for 1984-5 "This is a great day for France!"--President Richard Nixon while attending Charles De Gaulle's funeral "This is the worst disaster in California since I was elected."--California Governor Pat Brown, discussing a local flood "It's not listed in the Bible, but my spiritual gift, my specific calling from God, is to be a television talkshow host."--James Baker, televangelist. "The chairs in the cabin are for the ladies. Gentlemen are not to make use of them till the ladies are seated."--Instructions posted in a river cruise ship, Suir River, Ireland. "The exports include thumbscrews and cattle prods, just routine items for the police."--U.S. Commerce Department spokesman on a regulation allowing the export of various products abroad. "What he does on his own time is up to him."--Harlon Copeland, Sheriff of Bexar County, Texas, when one of his deputies was caught exposing himself to a child. "Facts are stupid things."--Ronald Reagan, misquoting John Adams in a speech to the Republican convention.

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